Sal's Reflections

Received an email today from a person that heard me speak in California. She requested clarification on a statement I made about taking control of some part in our lives. She was referring to a comment that stated”If we wish to alter a habit or any constant behavior one place to begin is with our speech”. The point that I was trying to make is that self talk goes directly to our brain and much of what we do is governed and supported by what we say to ourselves. If you wish to have a new choice it is imperative to substitute new words which send new signals. If you consistently tell your brain that you cannot change then the results will follow your words. I truly believe that one of the most critical things we can do to create new choices in our lives is to monitor our speech and adjust to new words.

The lasting guidance of a Mother goes far beyond the formative years of childhood. The lessons that are modeled last a lifetime and are for many of us a well of wisdom and love that is readily available. I almost daily realize the wondrous gifts that were part of my Mother’s legacy. Her ability to see the worth and individual importance of everyone she encountered has shaped my view of others. Her honesty always present but imbued with tact and kindness modeled an ethic to which I aspire. She lives now not physically but in my spirit and heart, and so to her and all those that give us life over and over I am pleased to say “Happy Mothers day.”

Picked up four new speaking engagements in the fall and am trying to cultivate the motivational speaking to subsidize the Holocaust work. I am employing a “no risk” approach that I used in my consulting business. I establish a fee plus expenses for the motivational presentations. If I do not meet expectations then the client only pays for my expenses. I have found that “shared risks” are beneficial to the client as well as myself. Selling services should always be about creating value for others and not just pursuing a fee. The interesting reality is that when you approach it this way if you create value the business grows. My presentations despite all my other attempts only work when there us word of mouth assistance.
Thanks to all of you who constantly develop leads and introductions.

I have become increasingly concerned about the number of suicide attempts by college students all across the country. This reality was made vivid by a personal experience a few months ago in Washington. On my way to the Metro I was shocked by the explosion of a tree about fifteen feet in front of me.Initially it appeared to be the result of a lightning bolt but  I observed that a huge branch of the tree appeared to have a piece of clothing in it. Four people lifted up the branch, and there was a young woman whose life had been spared by the fact that she hit the tree and it cradled her to the ground. She was apparently alive but severely injured. Medical help was almost immediately and I learned later in the week that she had survived. The privacy of personal information did not allow any further information but the reality was that she had jumped from the 9th floor.

I cannot ignore this trend, and obviously have no magic pill to end this serious issue but I am willing and able to speak to any college about the life lessons I learned from Viktor Frankl. His message is a s resonant today in our digital world as it was when I heard it years ago.

Had a marvelous experience in South Carolina when I presented on the “Life Lessons I learned from Viktor Frankl.”

No matter what the circumstances there are always choices.

The Power of the Visual-What we see is where we go

The Past does not determine the future

Every person seeks Meaning

Fear of failure prevents us from significant meaning

Every person seeks  to be needed,understood and loved

Meaning is a buffet,it is all around us

We become exceptional by embracing the ordinary in extraordinary ways

Self forgiveness and the forgiveness of others allows personal growth and fulfillment

Unexamined rules prevent reasonable risk taking

One of the exercises I use when working with small groups is ask that the participants identify one goal they desire to happen in the next year. Once they identify the goal I ask them to close their eyes and hope that it happens.it is usually a positive experience. I then ask them to close their eyes and see that it actually has happened. I then ask that they describe what are the feelings and invariably they are much more intense and fulfilling then just hoping it will happen.Seeing the goal finished often moves them to action.

The views of Baltimore are both sad and frightening .On a day when the family of the young man who died pleaded with everyone to be peaceful and calm some committed senseless acts of destruction and violence. This day does nothing but harm the majority of the citizens in Baltimore who though very concerned and upset at what happened to one of their citizens did not participate in any of this hooligan behavior. The community has every right to seek justice, but violence is never the answer. All those thugs did was hurt the reputation and the personal lives of others as well as destroying personal property .This urban community has enormous challenges to face such as unemployment, ruptured relationships between the community and the police but the sword never solves anything. Hopefully the community will come together and override those criminals who yesterday did nothing to solve the crisis.

One of the big boulders in the path of our dreams and desires is the fear of failure.Always present with painful memories its tentacles often touch our hopes to attempt something meaningful. Fear that we will be criticized or experience pain often makes us merely shrug our shoulders and put the desired outcome on the back burner.Discomfort is not something that we wish to experience, and so fear may rule the day. “If I don’t try then I won’t fail and experience humiliation and criticism.”
I like everyone does not wish to experience the effects of failure but I have learned to treat failure as feedback. If something did not work then examining why it didn’t and what I could learn from it allows me to alter my behavior. I can think of no worthwhile venture that has immediate success without some need for alterations. Past failure is not a guarantee that new plans and dreams will repeat the old patterns. Fear of failure is natural, but letting it be the preventer that limits who you are is in my opinion a choice that you might want to revisit.

‘I don’t have the time,the resources and a host of other limitations often prevent us from addressing goals or dreams that are important to us.” It is not a question of these being bad, but rather the reality that these limitations are in the way of significant behaviors that would benefit us or others. Often we add caveats like”I will get to it later, or when the kids go to college,” or one of the all time limitations “when I retire”.I suggest we look at our limitations and ask whether we accept them at this moment.If we do fine ,but if we don’t then what is the first thing we can do today to chase one of our dreams?