Sal's Reflections

I felt as though I was on Candid camera while having breakfast at the corner bakery yesterday. The place was mobbed with tourists and it was necessary to share tables.I was seated with a couple that were quite unhappy with the government,the changes in society, and the perception that institutional changes violated their moral code. I decided that I would keep my big mouth shut, but honestly I was biting my lip at some of their statements.

At one point they were particularly upset that the Supreme Court was forcing them to do business with gay people.They clearly thought as Americans they had a right to avoid persons that were immoral, and it seemed unconstitutional.At this juncture they asked me what I thought of the situation.Swallowing hard I gently asked”How many gay persons do you know?” They looked at me as though I had two heads.”Why none of course.”I replied that might be the key issue with how you are feeling.”

We live in a time period where there is a great deal of mistrust in institutions that have been the cornerstone of our society.There is a tendency to dismiss any government agency, or anyone who is part of the establishment. However, in this period of heightened anxiety due to the recent terrorist attacks it is well to note that there are people who 24/7 work tirelessly to keep us safe. They are often not seen, and they do not flood the networks with soundbites ,but are ever vigilant in trying to get at the root of the terrorist networks.Day in and day out they piece together bits of information and attempt to infiltrate the world that seeks to do us harm.The work often leads to dead ends ,but despite this they tenaciously continue with little or no praise.

Working on a novel and one of the characters bears more than a slight resemblance to yours truly.It is amazing how many specific memories come cascading out, and to some degree it is like reliving moments as though they were happening again. Vivid words of yesteryear as well as individual persons who played significant roles in my life apparently were neatly stored in my brain.

While writing I realize how many people have contributed peak experiences to the journey, and I wish there was a way to name each one in the novel.I will write again today and experience “back to the future moments.The neat thing is that much of the past still has a presence in life, and gratitude for all that has happened takes center stage.

There is always some belief or cause that allows terrorists to take human lives without pause or reflection.Since the beginning of recorded history some belief, at times religious, or framed in the desire to create a better way of life.It justifies the actions.It always appears initially to be novel, but in fact it is similar in its root.Hatred of the other, and total justification for killing will unfortunately always be part of ongoing history.The horror inflicted never considers the pain and suffering that the violence causes.It can lead to genocide,crematoria,incarcerations, bombings in subways or airports,the slaughter of innocent children in schools .These murderous acts test the will of the good people who decry them
..Today it is Belgium, and we know that this will not be the end

The key consideration is that there will be agreement that these and all terrorists must be brought to justice, but what are the implications for daily ordinary life that these acts call into question.?We cannot be naive about how we approach these issues ,but we must be careful not to allow terror to have us change our most cherished values.If the murderers pit us against each other and force us to severely alter who we are then they have taken even more then life,they have stolen our souls.

Yesterday was my most recent attempt to downsize the mammoth amount of material I have accrued.In the midst of this never ending exercise I found some pictures of me and my grandmother.She was an incredibly kind person who was my harbor of love, especially during my teen age years.My mother denied it when I was an adult,but I was a royal pain in the rear as an adolescent.I was never disrespectful but certainly was mischievous and always a smart alec

My grandmother lived above us ,and never saw that side of me. She had the ability to see beyond the annoying boy trying to muddle his way to adulthood. Every time I left her presence I wanted to be a better person. I hope that everyone has had this kind of love and acceptance growing up.

One of the reasons I love the NCAA basketball tournament is that many of the smaller teams upset the favorites. The somewhat smaller conferences arrive with long odds ,and go somewhat unnoticed, but they seem undaunted by their famous opponents. They are driven by the belief that they can achieve what appears to be impossible, and so like David they go into the contest unbowed.

March Madness can be a metaphor for life because most of us can be unnoticed and unheralded, but belief is what makes the difference.Stem the tide of that voice in your brain that gives you all the reasons why you can’t do something and believe in yourself.

One limitation that stands in the way of our dreams is the fear that we will experience disappointment if they do not materialize.It is a kind of emotional insulation that allows us to be safe from the emotions that often accompany the realization that the dream is not happening. This is understandable, but we only go around once, and so many worthwhile adventures and quests have those down moments but continuing often reaps great rewards.

No one enjoys the avalanche of emotion that may visit when our cherished hopes don’t immediately work out, but remember the times when you reshaped the dream and tried again . Savor the memories when new efforts and plowing through the feelings brought you joy that still warms your heart.

My daughter Amy is revising my website, and I am excited about the opportunities this will provide. I have a passion for coaching and speaking about the belief that everyone under the right set of circumstances can be a leader.
My fee is on a sliding scale, and I have never refused an opportunity to share what I have been blessed to learn with others.Please feel free to contact me regarding my availability to go anywhere at any time.

sjtagliareni.com

There are persons in our lives who are such treasures that the very mention of their name makes our hearts smile. They are the ones who make us laugh,who always have our backs, and their love and care have enabled us to grow in so many ways.Some are present daily while others are rarely seen, but are ever in our minds and hearts..
It is worthwhile to let them know how much we appreciate who they are, and what they mean to us.It may be a phone call,an email or even an unexpected visit. I can assure you that they will be touched by your recognition that they have played a vital role in who you are today.

A year ago the Seton Hall men’s basketball program was a disaster. The straw that broke the camel’s back was an embarrassing loss to Marquette in the Big East Tournament. Th coach had a mutiny mid season,and fans,including myself were calling for the administration to fire him.. I did not believe that there was any way forward for the coach, and worried about his mental health. He appeared defeated, and his posture at the end of the last game indicated he was a beaten man.
Yesterday that coach led his team to the championship of the Big east Tournament at Madison Square garden. Coupled with that he shared the honor of being voted coach of the year by his peers.He apparently altered many of the behaviors that led to his Waterloo
and used failure as a learning experience.