Sal's Reflections

A funeral service in reality is a classroom setting about life. Yesterday at John Curran’s memorial Mass point after point was driven home about the meaning and legacy of life. The number of persons who traveled from near and far were signs of respect and human caring.The profound words of the priest about John and his love ones filled the congregation with awe and humor. The laughs and tears that spilled forth from the words of one who knew him the best ,his wife Mackie, made each one  realize what a treasure John was in their lives. It was a day to weep, but more importantly to realize the value of legacy. The world was never the same in the last seventy years because that Irish whirlwind bit into it with an enthusiasm that made each day special. His name and adventure will not be in every media outlet today, but it will forever be in the vision of everyone in that Church. We had the privilege to share in the legacy of a man who knew the fullness of being human, and the lessons he left are a legacy that is like a well filled with endless blessings. Godspeed John and thank you most of all for being you.

Thanksgiving should be more than a national holiday. It should be something that daily reminds us of the gifts and treasures that are part of our lives. Remembering those who touched our lives who will no longer be at the festive table ,but will always be in our thoughts and hearts is one reality that merits our thanks. There is much in any life that can feel like we have received the short straw, but for most of us there are so many blessings that they resemble the number of the stars. It would really make a difference if we took the holiday and made it a perennial event to be grateful for all that we have.

For many persons there is a deep belief that there is life after death. However, there are probably as many who believe that when death comes it is the total end of life with nothing after. One thing I know for certain is that there is life in the legacy of one’s life. Two cherished friends died this week, and who they were still lives in all who knew and loved them. Colleen and John live in our hearts and minds despite the reality that they are physically gone. My father once told me ‘They are never gone as long as we remember them. “I will always remember my dear friends.

It never ceases to amaze me that any act of kindness seems to have a boomerang effect. A kind word or gesture that seems so insignificant at the time it is given often has lasting meaning. Over and over I am reminded of how our words and acts change the lives of others and most often the returns are far greater than the initial giving. Caring acts need not be given with the intention that they will lead to paybacks, but my experience is that they come back a hundred fold.

When you throw a pebble into a lake the ripples from that tiny piece of stone go on and replicate the initial movement in the water. My friend Colleen Welsh died yesterday ,and her life was similar to the pebble in the water. There was little fanfare in her eighty two years, but quietly through her love and grace she changed so many lives. There were the children with handicapping conditions that experienced her patience and saw through her eyes that they had real worth. There were her colleagues and friends who whenever they encountered personal difficulties realized she was the first to show up. Never bursting in and requiring praise or credit, she was truly “a show up person.” I met Colleen forty three years ago, and she has enabled me to more fully understand the value of friendship. I will miss the daily phone call, and the little notes that come in the mail, but I realize that her life will continue to cause loving ripples through everyone that knew and loved her.

One of the real hurdles to taking risks is the pervasive feelings of failure.I was not overly burdened with”what will the neighbors think”response to every attempt to do something different ,but many live with this cloak that prevents opportunities. Your life is a gift, and seeking to have every idea or scheme be understood by all is a sure way to limit dreams and goals. You are a unique person that sees the world as no other has or will see it again and failure is part of life. However, it is not a determinant that should prevent your taking a bigger bite of the apple. Failure is only one part of the equation.getting off the deck and taking risks are the real paths to fully living the life that you were meant to experience.

Again in a flash I was reminded of how valuable each day is and seizing the now is not just a slogan. We all know that the unexpected may be in the next moment, so every dream and desire should not be shelved for some ambiguous future date.The wonder of life is in exploration, new paths and taking a leap into the unknown. What we have is the present and it should not always be taken for granted that tomorrow will come .Responsibilities must be met ,but no matter what they are there is also the responsibility to lead life fully. Savor the now by realizing it may be short but still a treasure to experience.

My dear friend Colleen suffered a massive stroke on Tuesday and her life is now in the balance. She was one of those people who went unnoticed by many, but anyone who truly knew her realized what a great human being was in their presence. For years she taught children with handicapping conditions and could relate to them on a level that made them feel special and valued. Always in the background she was relatively shy and never tried to steal the limelight. If you want to truly understand friendship you could uncover its deepest meaning by talking to those who knew and loved her. Always kind and gracious she had the ability to make you feel special. It has been a treasure to know her these many years, and if she lives the road will be most difficult. I only hope that those who she has given so much to realize it is time to emulate her giving and kindness.

Part of being human is the reality of worrying. We worry about our finances, our health, our loved ones and a host of other concerns. There are times when the worries overwhelm us, and it can deplete us of energy and purpose. It is not really helpful to tell someone to stop worrying but I found that most worries have little definition and are vague ,but still scary. I would suggest that you select a small period of time between ten and fifteen minutes a day and focus solely on the issues that worry you. Define them in all of the drastic outcomes and implications. When they appear at other times refer them to the worry period. The reality is that worrying is part of life ,but ninety percent of what we worry about does not happen. About four percent is beyond our control and six percent needs to be dealt with in some behavioral way.

There are always in the news opinions about teachers and schools. Often the articles are negative and make teaching appear to be an easy life with many holidays and summers off. I would contend that teaching is one of the most valuable professions in life because much of what students experience has influence over their current and future lives. Like everyone I had some mediocre teachers ,but also there were those who profoundly changed my life for the better. It wasn’t always about “how to make a living” but rather “how to lead a meaningful life”. I have had the privilege of teaching at the high school.undergraduate and graduate levels and can attest that it is never easy if you love learning and those whose minds and hearts are your responsibility. Criticism goes with the territory, but so should praise. I am so grateful for the ones that opened up my mind and soul to the wonders of knowledge.