Sal's Reflections

One of life’s great joys is the company of your adult children. Today is my son John’s birthday and his presence in my life has been a remarkable gift. The roles of modeling and learning have been reversed over the years, and I have learned so much from him. He is one of the most caring persons on the planet ,and has always put the care and needs of others ahead of his needs. He is an outstanding husband,father,son, cousin and friend, and all who know him appreciate and love him for what he brings to their lives. Happy Birthday John, and may this be the most special year of your life.

As the new year approaches I hope that we will retain some of the wondrous memories that dear friends have left. I wish to think of Rob Hess every time I see  homeless persons  on the street, and do what little I can to assist them. I want to remember the class of John Plostniek and treat everyone I meet with his kindness and concern.I need to remember how Colleen Welsh always made me feel like I was the most special person in the world and treat others in that fashion . I wish to remember the zest that John Curran had for life, and laugh at the wonderful times he made me laugh. They are physically gone but they made a dent in the world which will continue as long as I remember them.

Growing up years ago the word retirement meant that there would come a period of time when a person would be free to basically just relax and have no cares. However,I prefer to think of retirement as the ultimate promotion where one can do what she or he has desired but could not achieve because of other obligations. It is a time when opportunities abound, and life continues often in a more exhilarating and meaningful manner. If the time is coming when the formal movement from a profession or job is ending realize that it is just another phase, and perhaps one where you have more control. Sitting around waiting for the end is a poor alternative when there are new vistas to explore.

Another year has flown by and soon the new one will begin. Always a good time to recharge, and not spend too much time and energy on what we did not accomplish, or be immobilized by where we failed. Through many years as a consultant to scientific groups I learned that in every failure there is learning. I was always amazed by the amount of failure that occurs in scientific ventures before success is achieved. The same is true in ordinary life. The only failure that is devastating is the failure to try again.

As the year winds down I am aware of certain truths that need to be reinforced. One is that every day is precious and to put off important goals may not be a wise decision. The second is that friends and loved ones are far more valuable than any possession and deserve our constant attention. The third is that there are great people in the world who every day choose to work for humankind; they need our encouragement and support.The fourth is that children are great models to observe and imitate.They have a purity of heart and an innocence that refreshes and balances out the negative realities that face everyone. The fifth is that laughter is the life bread of the soul and should be part of every experience. There are many others but this is a good start that will keep me on the road to OZ.

The end of life can often be filled with pain and suffering not only for the one who dies but also for loved ones. The loss is often so searing that it literally can be felt physically.I was reminded many years ago by Viktor Frankl  when Jack Murphy died that although it was a huge loss ,I should not forget his life. Concentrating only on his death was to miss the wonder of his life , and all the joy he brought to others.Grief is normal and there is no clear path for each individual ,but in the process at some point in time will come the realization that life has been enhanced and blessed by the one we loved.

One of the pervasive feelings that comes at this time of year is the opportunity to forgive others.The stories of Scrooge,It’s a Wonderful Life and a host of other ones remind us that human nature is capable of rising above anger and hard feelings.Forgiveness is a route to growth and offering others the opportunity to resolve differences can be a source of personal freedom. I firsthand saw a man who had lost everything to the Nazis open his heart to forgive acts that are beyond description. In light of this all of my bruises and hurts seem petty.

For the next four days I will see the world through the eyes of a wondrous six year old.Erica is filled with the spirit of Christmas, and is  captivated with all of the joy and love of the finest parts of the season. I will revel in her laughter, and try to capture part of her imagination and excitement. The innocence and beauty of her age will be one of the most special gifts that I will receive. In her presence the many years of Christmas past will be  as if I am experiencing it for the first time.