Sal's Reflections

Thursday night at the interfaith presentation in Chicago I was asked”What are fhe three most important things you learned from Viktor Frankl”? Without hesitation I responded. The first was that no matter what life challenges you have there are always choices regarding how you may respond. The second is that the past does not absolutely determine the future. People have an unlimited ability to change. The third is that everyone hungers for purpose and meaning. This drive to make a difference can always be found in being of service to others..

Saw “The Verdict” at our Friday night movie and it was a marvelous example of a person overcoming past failures. Paul Newman ,the main character, has lost his way, and a once promising career is daily drowned in the addiction of alchohol.He has a choice to continue to wallow in the past or to courageously take on great power to defend the rights of an innocent woman permanently harmed by two physicians. The path is strewn with challenges and at one point ready to give up he resists the temptation to throw in the towel, and ultimately wins the case. The plot is a wonderful metaphor for so many lives stuck in the past without a ray of hope for personal redemption. Every life has regrets, and stumbles are part of the human condition but so is hope and new chances for change and growth. For many it will not be as dramatic as the character in this movie but today and every day the opportunities for change and redemption are still possible.

I think that sometimes we give the personal comfort zone a bad rap. Instead of chastising persons for not leaving their comfort zone maybe we should ask them to examine it more fully. Finding out what we are good at and what makes us feel respected and valued may be worthwhile. If we are encouraged by understanding our skills and talents more fully it may encourage us to widen our personal comfort zones.New ventures may be less threatening if we have a strong sense of self and personal past accomplishments.

Tribute to my writing group:

My magical place

Every Thursday morning, I go to my magical place
It has no breathtaking views of mountains, canals and rivers.
There are no swaying palm trees overlooking a sunny beach as the waves caress the golden sand
It is simply a place with tables and chairs
However, there is a magic carpet that transports those in attendance by written words
to myriad experiences
Initially timid and fearful to share, the words have exploded into a never-ending series of wonder
We have had dinner in Buenos Aires with family members, and caressed the tapestries of Istanbul
Explored the compelling search for family roots and watched attempts at family reconciliations
Sifted the complex career questions that lead to solutions that transform
There has been panic as flames and smoke threatened human life
We have sat in the halls of cancer wards and witnessed the fearful faces be touched by hope
There has been mirth by the image of a cookie tin with ashes circling aimlessly on a conveyor belt
There have been tears watered by the loss of loved one and exploration of beliefs about death and dying while wondering how many showers we have left.
In this magical place casual acquaintances have bonded into a loving group no longer fearful of sharing with full candor the core of their lives.

I don’t like labels but if I must wear them I am a social progressive and a fiscal lconservative. In my circle of family,friends and business associates there is a rainbow of political identities. In spite of this I have dined with, laughed with ,cried with and experienced every other human emotion within this circle. I have not severed any relationship because of ideology, and have tried to remain civil and respectful to the views that are different from mine.In America today the political tearing of the fabric has reached such intense polarization that innocent hard working people are suffering beyond measure the insanity of a closed government. If we can live in our personal lives with these differences then those that represent us must also abandon the mentality of distance and obstinate positioning. There are reasonable accommodations to this fiasco and the pain of innocent civil servants and all that feel the pain must end NOW

I am reminded on this day when we honor the memory and work of Dr.King how blessed I was at home. One of my uncles was a racist bully who openly used the N word. I heard my mother say to him after one of his vile outbursts. ” Every night when I go to bed I say the same prayer. I hope that when you wake up tomorrow you are black so you will understand what racism does to innocent people.” I have never forgotten my mother’s words, and it has been my anchor regarding all people. I thank my mother and Dr. King for creating a path to sister and brotherly love and respect.

There is no change in my morning routine because of the closed government. I will have my breakfast ,do some writing and this afternoon will go to see Seton Hall play Providence College.I do not have to worry about my next meal or my condo monthly fee and truly I am blessed. However, for countless people each morning is a nightmare. Some cannot pay their mortgages, feed their children or pay for prescription drugs. This fiasco which could easily be resolved by dialogue and the recognition that the role of government is to serve not harm. My comfort and ability to be above this tragic situation should not allow me to blithely dismiss what others are experiencing. Silence in this matter is tantamount to consent; so I will add my small voice to those who are clamoring to end this childish test of wills. I have contacted members of the House and Senate as well as the White House. Stop the name calling, and don’t take your football and go home. End this today, and get back to good faith negotiations. The real national emergency is the pain caused by this shutdown.

I wish all a new year filled with blessings and opportunities. For some ,the last year has been painful and perhaps one filled with great personal losses. I hope that the new year will bring consolation and the ever presence of those that care about them..For others ,a new year offers new beginnings and moments to seek challenging paths and goals. For them, I wish strength and the conviction that they deserve to be respected and loved.To all ,I hope that 2019 will be a year of fulfillment and meaning.

I have found at every age there are potential joys and challenges. This reality is true when you start getting discounts as a senior citizen. The gait may be slower, and the ability to see long distances limited, but there are still mountains to climb and rivers to cross. The experience of life has taught me that curiosity need not be the sole privilege of children. Friendship,love and meaning do not have expiration dates so I choose to keep on trucking. I hope that sometime in the coming days I can remind some others with snow on the roof that the fire still burns below. Passion ,caring for others and always trying to make life a little better make every second worthwhile.

As I approach 2019 I have been thinking that I should make myself more available to others. One way of doing this is to offer counsel,advice or coaching to any of my Facebook friends. One way to have this happen and protect personal information is to use my email,setaglia@aol.com or messenger on Facebook. So, in the coming year if you have any issue that you wish to share or discuss shoot me a note.It can be on goal setting,career or business coaching or any personal or private issue where you wish a second opinion..