It is always a temptation in any sort of disagreement to muster all the evidence on my side and attempt to win. Once this happens I shut down the possibility of listening and trying to understand the perceptions of the other side. I am hearing words ,but in fact not listening because I am mustering my facts in order to respond.Civility often drops into the background and my responses may drift into the personal rather than the factual. Winning is certainly something that carries with it some benefits but at what cost?Truly engaging in a respectful dialogue without labels can often lead to a place beyond the initial discord.It is certainly worthwhile to have strong convictions and values but trying to get at mutual understanding far outweighs the temporary robust feelings of winning.