Family Characters

Missed you at breakfast this morning.“Where are you going with the suit and tie.”
“I have a Doctor’s appointment this morning and then off to the hospital for some tests in the afternoon, but I will be back in plenty of time for the karaoke program tonight:”

“Do you believe that we have been reduced to the ancient order of Hibernians karaoke night?”

Mike: “If that one jerk who sings in the great room all day gets up to sing I may have one of your people take him out.”
“ Enough with the mafia bullshit. What kind of tests are you having?”

“Just the usual G.I. tests and a few others that your feeble mind cannot comprehend: “
“Oh I forgot you as a physician are all knowing and a high priest in our culture.”

“Jealousy is a terrible disease and will consume you unless you accept that there are people who are superior to you.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“where would I begin? You’re all ass.”

“On a more serious note why are you having all these tests?”

“I have had some G.I. discomfort but I don’t think it’s anything major. There is the slim possibility that there is a small obstruction and these tests will determine whether it is the cause of my symptoms. If my Uncle Joe was alive we wouldn’t need all the tests.”

“What the hell does your Uncle Joe have to do with your medical condition?”
“When my Father was diagnosed with a terminal illness Uncle Joe showed up and requested that we give him my Father’s car. My brother, sister and I agreed that that would be a nice gesture.

When my sister was diagnosed with terminal Leukemia Uncle Joe showed up again and requested that we give him Tina’s car. My brother and I once again made the decision to give Uncle Joe the car.
After my sisters burial I said to my brother if you ever have a serious illness and they tell you that you’re are going to be fine, and you see Uncle Joe in the hallway. Forget it you’re toast and will die, Give him the car keys, make an act of contrition and close your eyes.”

“Christ your Uncle is the Irish equivalent of aunt Philomena. She was 90 years old and whenever anyone went to visit her she would start sobbing and say” I’ma no gonna see you again”. Everyone thought that was her way of telling you that she was going to die. In fact it meant that the visitor was going to die. My father never let her run that routine on him.”

: “We are the progeny of witch doctors and witches.”

“ What time do you expect to be back?”

“If it’s before the karaoke hour I will tell them that I feel weak and they should keep me overnight.”

You mean you would rob all of the residents of your heartbreaking rendition of Danny Boy?”

“You and the white horse you rode in on.”

Mike is seated in the breakfast nook. He is staring out the window, Sal enters pours himself a cup of coffee and sits down. next to Mike.

: “God what the hell’s the matter with you? You look like shit warmed over.”

“I …..(pause) got my test results yesterday afternoon.”

“and?”

Missed you at breakfast this morning.“Where are you going with the suit and tie.”
“I have a Doctor’s appointment this morning and then off to the hospital for some tests in the afternoon, but I will be back in plenty of time for the karaoke program tonight:”

“Do you believe that we have been reduced to the ancient order of Hibernians karaoke night?”

Mike: “If that one jerk who sings in the great room all day gets up to sing I may have one of your people take him out.”
“ Enough with the mafia bullshit. What kind of tests are you having?”

“Just the usual G.I. tests and a few others that your feeble mind cannot comprehend: “
“Oh I forgot you as a physician are all knowing and a high priest in our culture.”

“Jealousy is a terrible disease and will consume you unless you accept that there are people who are superior to you.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“where would I begin? You’re all ass.”

“On a more serious note why are you having all these tests?”

“I have had some G.I. discomfort but I don’t think it’s anything major. There is the slim possibility that there is a small obstruction and these tests will determine whether it is the cause of my symptoms. If my Uncle Joe was alive we wouldn’t need all the tests.”

“What the hell does your Uncle Joe have to do with your medical condition?”
“When my Father was diagnosed with a terminal illness Uncle Joe showed up and requested that we give him my Father’s car. My brother, sister and I agreed that that would be a nice gesture.

When my sister was diagnosed with terminal Leukemia Uncle Joe showed up again and requested that we give him Tina’s car. My brother and I once again made the decision to give Uncle Joe the car.
After my sisters burial I said to my brother if you ever have a serious illness and they tell you that you’re are going to be fine, and you see Uncle Joe in the hallway. Forget it you’re toast and will die, Give him the car keys, make an act of contrition and close your eyes.”

“Christ your Uncle is the Irish equivalent of aunt Philomena. She was 90 years old and whenever anyone went to visit her she would start sobbing and say” I’ma no gonna see you again”. Everyone thought that was her way of telling you that she was going to die. In fact it meant that the visitor was going to die. My father never let her run that routine on him.”

: “We are the progeny of witch doctors and witches.”

“ What time do you expect to be back?”

“If it’s before the karaoke hour I will tell them that I feel weak and they should keep me overnight.”

You mean you would rob all of the residents of your heartbreaking rendition of Danny Boy?”

“You and the white horse you rode in on.”

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