These days in Maine have been joyful and idyllic.However I am aware that there are homes of people I know who are immersed in grief and overwhelming sese of loss.Tragedy has come in the face of infant death and the loss of a teenager by accident. The pain of this shocking news for parents and loved ones can be so devastating that life seems to come to a screeching halt with such cutting unbearable pain. I have in my life had the task of telling parents that one of their children had suddenly died ,and it bores a hole in my heart to this day. There are no words that can alleviate the pain, but I have learned that the immediate shock though wrenching is not the most difficult part.The real avalanche of sustained pain comes when life resumes for everyone else after the burials.It is then that they most need us. They need us to abandon the belief that talking about their child causes more pain. The words and memories may appear to be new cuts to their soul , but it has been my experience that in minuscule ways it helps for a moment or two. The biggest lesson I learned is that our ongoing presence will never bring their child back ,but it helps to know that they are not totally alone