Sal's Reflections

It is not unusual to have opposing realities when struggling to make a significant decision.
Considering that there are very few decisions that are totally one sided, it helps to have a way to get to go..Almost always there are obvious pros and cons that make the final decision difficult. Whether it be a new job, a place to live or even whether to maintain or sever a relationship, it is rare that there are not opposing facts and considerations. It is not an infallible formula, but most times when I am in this process I employ the 60-40 rule. If the reasons are 60% and the opposite alternative are 40% I go with the 60% option. At some point the decision needs to be made and realizing it is never 100% crystal clear usually enables me to move on.

There are probably forty billion moments in our lifetimes that require serious considerations and actions. These are part and parcel of the human experience, and at times they seem to be so heavy that we ignore the humorous aspects of life. I come by it naturally because my Father never lost his sense of being one who enjoyed laughter and the art of being silly. The joy of jokes, harmless pranks and loving teasing make life so more enjoyable. So my suggestion in the midst of all those furrowed brow moments is pause to laugh, be a little silly and enjoy the great feeling of humor.

Taking the bus from New York to Boston round trip this weekend I was struck by the complete diversity of the travelers. Young, old,straight,gay and every color of the rainbow. All seemed excited about the fourth of July celebrations and witnessing the differences reinforced the beauty and value of the future. We are still the land where people come to our shores from all kinds of cultures and persuasions. There is nothing to fear from these ways which may seem initially unusual. In essence they are gifts which form the mosaic again and again of the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Spent the last few days in Boston and walking down the street where the marathon bombing took place I am aware of the pain inflicted on that day. There is such a festive mood in the city around the fourth of July and I need to remind myself that there are persons months later still suffering from the tragedies of hateful behaviors. My thoughts also go to the families of the children murdered in Newtown because holidays can create painful surges in grief. I have and will enjoy this marvelous American holiday, but I will never forget the victims and their families.

We celebrate the Independence of our nation on this great holiday and being independent as a nation and personally is wonderful. However,lest we forget, that Independence was arrived at by our forbearers depending on each other. It was not a solo path to the birth of our nation, and this is also true of our daily lives,We are interdependent on a host of persons,some close to us and others whose names we shall never know. Together we can achieve greatness and still retain the independence that we so treasure.

I spent a great deal of my years working as a business consultant with research and development scientists. In the pharmaceutical industry most initial attempts to find significant breakthroughs end initially in failure. The drug may have too many side effects, or in the course of the studies its efficacy does not meet the necessary standards. However, in almost each one of these failures there is learning that enables future drugs to be successful. The same applies to most worthwhile goals and adventures. Often we cannot anticipate the inevitable obstacles and challenges. Instead of giving up, the question which almost always leads to what we desire is “what did I learn from this attempt? ‘There are no shortcuts to the stars, but failures are only temporary blocks to the goals we choose.They only become permanent when we quit.

I am always struck by the mammoth social changes that occur through the courage and commitment of one person. Rosa Park refused to sit in the back of the bus and was a catalyst in waking up the American conscience. Jeanne Mannford walked with a sign indicating her love for her gay son and opened up an avalanche of support by parents who were unsure how to react to their children.Sister Mary Scullion through her tireless efforts has enabled us to see the homeless as people deserving of our help and concern. Our power may pale compared to these enormous change agents but each of us has the power to change the world for the better

One of the great gifts in life are mentors who teach us a host of valuable life and career issues. My life has been enriched by so many wonderful role models along the way and I realize everyone needs and is entitled to mentors. With this truth in mind ,I appeal to everyone to seek mentors and also to act as models for others. I am privileged when anyone seeks my assistance in their life development. I would urge everyone to realize that they deserve coaching and to those who are in a position to coach I would ask them to openly each out to others.

I was asked recently how I could possibly be optimistic about the future of America. After a brief period of reflection I responded with the words of Winston Churchill”After trying all the wrong things Americans always get it right.”This land encouraged slavery for years and finally rose to end this abomination.Women were seen as property and refused the right to vote. America has supported so many rigid social taboos that have limited the search for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,. However at some point in time Americans deal with the tough issues despite all of the failures and roadblocks. Storm Sandy has awakened us to the reality of climate change and we can no longer ignore the need for radical alterations in education and immigration reform. We may be late to the party, but the beauty of this nation is that at some point we pony up and make the tough choices.

There is so much noise in our criticism toward those who hold different views than us that we are missing some great opportunities. Immigration reform, climate and energy advances as well as ways to raise the level of education from cradle to grave are within our grasp. Instead of the constant labeling and shouting each other down what if we focus on four or five issues that will launch us into a new era of great success. Going backward has never worked before and it won’t work now. We need not wait for the,status quo brokers to move on these great opportunities. Each of us can do some part for our children and grandchildren. Legacy is not confined solely to the powerful but resides in each human being.