Sal's Reflections

My friend Victor DeFino spent most of his eighty four years healing the bodies and souls of patients.The initial impression of this gifted physician was often that he was a  brusk and distant human being. Nothing could have been further from the truth because no healer ever cared more about the persons in his care. Medicine was not an occupation for him it was a vocation to care for everyone who came to him for help.Today in his eighty fourth year he is somewhat limited by his failing sight but his mind and spirit are as captivating as ever.Like so many others his friendship has enriched my life and I was thrilled to visit with him this week.

Last night I had the privilege of having dinner with the Contini clan.Many years ago the Father Luigi died of cancer and Mary was left to raise seven children by herself.Her indomitable will and enormous heart never for one second complained about the Herculean task of raising seven children by herself.Today there are generations of wonderful human beings that have been nurtured by this extrordinary person.The power of one person’s love has weathered all of the challenges of life and the benefits of her love and care have literally changed the world for the better.It is more than a cliche to realize the impact and power of one.

In the past six weeks four dear friends have died and I am constantly aware of how much they contributed to my life. This is also  true of countless persons living and dead who have consistently taught me about life and love. All of these spoken and unspoken interventions have enhanced my life and opened vistas beyond my imagination. It is so true that who we are is part and parcel of the lives of those who have met us at different intervals.

For months we have heard stories about the program initiated by the NSA  to listen to the conversations of many of our citizens.There has been an outcry against what many consider an invasion of privacy.I think that there are valid concerns on both sides of the issue but the reality of listening to others is a different issue. Often we talk over each other or feign listening while preparing our next response.Even those who are close to us may get only a veneer of true listening. When we open ourselves to dedicated listening we often see beyond the trivial to the core of the person who is speaking. There is real gold  of understanding and connection when we stifle the urge to speak and listen with our hearts.

I was reading one  of my old notebooks from the time I studied with Viktor Frankl in Vienna. I was struck by how his entire world view was shaped by his unshakable belief in the power of the search for meaning.It can come in relatively obvious ways, and at times it takes  great patience and determination to find a meaning in one’s life.I have found some who find great meaning in helping others while some find it in work or art or music or literature. There is no one that travels through humanity without some opportunity to give relevance to their existence.

Today is truly the first day of the rest of our lives and the moment when opportunity strikes.I would suggest that you stop pushing off to some vague future date something that you have wished to achieve for the longest time.It has been and out of your mind and there are a host of reasons why the timing has not been appropriate, but the reality is there is never a perfect time to  achieve a worthwhile goal. Life is an adventure or merely a repetitive series of tasks without the zest and wonder that takes our breath away.We deserve some   moments when we are lifted up by the experiences that have been in the background and maybe it is time to dust off the dreams and forge them into accomplishments.

Yesterday and today i spent with my best friends from Graduate school. Barry has become one of the world’s foremost experts on the psychology of treating cancer patients. Dennis was a Navy seal who spent most of his life in the service of his country. Many years have passed since we spent time with each other but the last two days have been marvelous. There are some people who cross our paths and leave such an imprint that time and distance never dim the love and respect we have for each other.The time was so meanigful that we have decided to repeat this reunion every year in different locations.

Today I attended the funeral of Colleen Welsh a committed teacher who literally changed the world through her students. The outpouring of respect from all those that were priviliged to know her was most moving. This gentle spirit had the ability to convey to others their value and worthiness to receive respect and love.Thenk you Colleen for all he wondrous memories you left behind.

Another small world happening.I was at the airport in Charlotte and had a copy of Hitler’s Priest on my lap.A man came up to me and asked how I liked the book.Unsure of what to say I inquired”Are you aware of this book?”He said’I read it last month and learned so much that I did not know.Are you finding it helpful in your understanding what happened?”Only then did I share that I had written it.We had the most wonderful conversation for the next twenty minutes.

I have spent years studying the Holocaust, and several questions haunt me.What would I have done if I was a German citizen? Would I have had the courage to speak out, or would I have aided those being hunted by the Nazi’s? There is no way that I can answer these burning questions with certitude. However,I can answer currently what I am doing to aid and protect those that are being hurt by anyone perpetrated harm on innocent persons. Do I ,without getting up on a soap box, make it clear that I will not listen to speech that stereotypes any group. Do I spend time and money supporting non profits that attempt to end sexism, racism and bias against the gay and transgender communities? Have I volunteered to bring my skill set to schools or reach out to children that are being bullied? The answers to what I would have done years ago intrigue me but today there are actions I can take to assist and aid those harmed by hatred.