Sal's Reflections

Time constraints are often the road blocks to a lot of our wishes. We muse to ourselves things like “I would love to do that but I just don’t have the time.” One suggestion that maybe helpful is to set aside fifteen minutes each day to reflect on an issue or goal that is important for you. I have found that this small block of time enables me to focus on the really important aspects that I need to examine. Surely no one is so busy that hey cannot spend fifteen minutes away from the hustle and bustle of their life. I have found that these small breaks often lead to bigger and better periods where I involve myself in goals that once seemed far fetched.

We learn rather quickly that”Life is not fair.”Some are burdened from the moment of birth with physical,emotional or social limitations, and each day is a monumental struggle . I understand that reality but I do not have to shrug my shoulders and totally accept it. In the course of this day there will be opportunities for a fleeting second, or an hour to make life a little more fair for others. it may be the time spent with a child who has a learning issue, or a parent that no longer remembers your name. Kindness to a stranger or the forgiveness of past hurts may bring respite even if it is but for today. Life will never be totally fair ,but our unwillingness to accept this offers endless opportunities to make it a little better.

After the longest winter in my personal memory I noticed an abundance of flowers and buds on the trees yesterday. It was a reminder that there are times in life when personal sorrow or misfortune can feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It is not being a Pollyanna to believe that the pain and difficulties of loss will not completely evaporate, but the human spirit can cope with almost any tragedy. In my interviews through the years of Nazi camp survivors I was always inspired by their love of life and desire to live again despite the tragedies they had witnessed. Spring does not deny the length and hardship of winter, but it enables us to feel the warmth of the sun and the hope that things will get better.

Tomorrow is my granddaughter Erica’s seventh birthday. She has been an exceptional blessing that in many ways has been a perpetual gift to our family. She wakes up with a smile, and has such an infectious love of life that it rekindles  the sense of joy in everyone that sometimes gets lost as we enter adult responsibilities. It is truly amazing how much insight and wisdom a seven year old can bring to the table. Happy Birthday Erica and the greatest gift that we open is the presence of you..

It always amazes me when I learn something new that is so obvious that I missed it for years. The past is beyond change because in reality it only exists in memory.We can talk about it ,watch videos that conjure stories and memories but it only exists conceptually. The same is true of the future. We can look forward to it, plan for certain goals and dream about outcomes, but it also is merely conceptual. What does exist in the concrete is the” now”. The present moment is more that a memory or a dream, it is real and the one path where our actions are somewhat under our control. Today is more than a memory or a wish,it is the time when life occurs and change and meaning are more than concepts.

A friend recently told me that he is very much like an onion. I was quite confused by that statement so he explained the comparison. The outside of an onion is usually dry, and not very attractive, but as the layers are peeled away the core is quite juicy and attractive. He went on to say that as he has aged the skin on his face has become wrinkled and dry, but the spirit and zest for life has never been more alive. Age need not diminish the value of one’s life, and like the onion the outer appearance is merely a shadow of the true beauty of what lies beneath.

A wise professor once told me in Graduate school that whenever you are confronted with a problem spend more time on a solution then on the problem. He went on to say that when we spend endless hours on telling ourselves how insurmountable the issue is we dissipate our ability to manage or solve it. The phrase he offered which I have employed on countless occasions was “What would it be like if we did not have the problem?” The beauty of that question is that it moves the brain toward solution without diminishing the obstacles or serious dimensions of the problem. It is amazing what we come up with when the energy goes to making it better rather than consistently reinforcing the problem. Next time you are in the midst of the valley try and concentrate what it would be like to climb the mountain and see the panoramic view once you overcame the hurdles.

One night while I was on duty at Holy Trinity rectory the phone rang at 3 a.m..I answered the phone and a female voice asked to speak to Father Murphy. I responded by telling her that Father Murphy was sleeping but if this was an emergency I would wake him. She replied “whenever I have a problem I discuss it with my psychiatrist, my husband, my boyfriend or Father Murphy. Tonight I could not decide which one, so I put their names in a hat and the one that I picked was Father Murphy.” I politely asked the woman to hold while I went for Father Murphy. Entering his room I shook him and said “wake up Jack you just won a raffle.”

Father Murphy.” I politely askrd the woman to wait and walked down the Hall to Father Murphy;s room. I shook him and said “Wake up jack ,you just won a raffle.”

I believe that everyone could benefit from having a life coach,someone who periodically would explore with a person her goals and concerns.This wonderful resource because of financial constraints, or other challenges is not always readily available, but it is possible to be your own life coach. It is healthy to at least occasionally reflect on what is important, and without being too self absorbed to assess what you wish to achieve in your life. It has nothing to do with comparing yourself to any other person ,but rather is an opportunity to look in the mirror and to reflect on what you have learned about life. Too often the treadmill of the daily routine is so draining that to have a short period of time to examine where you are at ,and what have you learned can be most rewarding.

We grow up with the inveterate belief that we are entitled to life,liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These are wonderful inalienable gifts, but the one that often confuses people is happiness. Sometimes it is equated with joyful feelings that are somewhat euphoric and  often does not seem to last very long.There are moments when it is so wonderful that we wish we could bottle it and drink from the cup at will. I prefer to think that there is a greater gift, and that is the gift of meaning. It is all around us, and can be a permanent experience. It can be found in dedicating our lives to others, caring for the sick, homeless and less fortunate. It is available in so many personal desires that it is truly unlimited. It can be discovered in learning, work and so many causes to better the world. We may not always feel happy, but every human life can find personal meaning that is resident and a constant.