Sal's Reflections

I have spent years studying the Holocaust (Shoah) and even in the midst of such horrendous research I am often struck by the resistance and heroism of Jews and righteous Gentiles. We all know the horrible pictures of bull dozed corpses and innocents by the millions being tortured and murdered but there were other countless moments when in myriad ways people resisted. Most of the world was silent but others even risking life never gave their spirits and souls to the monsters. I had the great privilege to study with Viktor Frankl. They took his family ,his country,his profession but they never stole his heart and soul.As we remember the horrors let us also memorialize the courage and commitments that still live after the monsters have gone.

I was always astounded by my mother’s consistent kindness to everyone, even some of her difficult relatives. So to improve my knowledge of human behavior I asked her what was the secret? She paused for a moment and inquired “do you remember any comment that really hurt you in your life”? I thought for a moment and a painful experience where someone in my school made a very derogatory remark about all Italians came into my consciousness. Sharing the remark with her she went on to have me tell her how hurt I was by the remark . I offered that it really was painful and stayed with me for quite awhile. “Remember that remark every time you are on the brink of saying or doing something unkind to anyone else. It might save you from the regret of having wounded another”. I cannot honestly say that my record is perfect, but it would be a whole lot worse without her loving wisdom.

I had a long conversation with a friend today whose husband died two years ago. She confided that much of what she heard from others about grief was well intentioned but rarely helpful. The one thing she did experience is that though she misses him each day life did go on but very differently. There were times when she thought the heavy sadness would never go away but there have been moments of joy, laughter and even new accomplishments. She will never stop missing him ,but has come to the realization that if she knew how hard it would be she still would choose to love him all over again. She also said that there are moments when long conversations with him help her in so many ways. In essence she said you don’t get over it but you learn that he was a gift, and above all he would want me to not be forever immobilized by the loss.

Dissent is one of the key ingredients of our Democracy.Opinions about the size of the government and whether it should be involved in this issue or that are as American as apple pie. However, when the media identifies a racist rancher who denies the very existence of the Federal government as a patriot it borders on lunacy.We are a government of laws and it is certainly the right of citizens to protest any law but armed confrontation in support of one who denies the very existence of any laws is way over the line.Bundy is a lawless racist that spews his views on people of color on a national stage thanks to those who view ratings more than community responsibility. Shame on anyone who defined this renegade as a patriot.

I believe that life begins where our comfort zone ends. Each of us get into patterns and habits ,and there is a comfort in the status quo.It takes the same amount of energy to maintain as it does to explore and widen the comfort zone. Beyond the routines there are opportunities that await us if we are willing to experience the moments of the unknown. Some of these will not work out and others may take a great deal of adjustments and maybe even some risks. However , this is what is wondrous about the human experience. It is the ability to have the courage to step outside the areas that are smooth and understood. It may not be a radical leap, but is there any step out of the comfort zone that you would like to take?

I hear a great deal of criticism regarding social media. Some say it is mostly trivial and a distraction that takes us away from more important issues, but I tend to disagree. In my case it has connected me with friends that I had lost touch with, and is a daily connection to the lives of so many who have enriched my lives in many ways. Their interests, concerns and current activities start my day with the realization that I never walk alone. Connections and relationships are the lifeblood of life, and social media is today’s face to face chat when it the miles separate us from those we love and care about.

Every person has a life story that resides in their mind and that story effects their choices and decisions. The story unedited and often written by others has great daily impact. Like all stories this needs to be examined, and other adaptions and conclusions need to be added. All writers are aware that in the re-writing and editing the work improves. This is also true in our personal lives, so I suggest we review the plot lines and give the main character, which is you, some wonderful new lines and paths to follow.

Evil initially always has center stage and innocent persons suffer needlessly at the hands of despots and terrorists. Last year evil turned a joyful tradition into a nightmare causing deaths and untold suffering. In a flash there was the loss of life and limbs, and once again it appeared that evil had triumphed. However, what always happens is the that in the end the ordinary becomes extraordinary ,and goodness reclaims the stage.Thirty six thousand runners will be at the starting line tomorrow and they will not be cowed by the threat of evil .They and the thousands that will cheer them on have a strength that comes from a belief in each other and community.All of us are with them in spirit and we salute “Boston Strong.”

There are countless museums in Washington and they enhance the lives of all who wander through all they have to offer. If I had unlimited funds at my disposal I would add a new museum. I would call it the “Thank You Museum.” In it would be the names and life histories of the ordinary citizens who have made our lives better. There would be the stories of our dedicated parents,brothers,sisters and a host of other family members. There would be chronicles about the friends who gave us their shoulders to cry on and shared a glass of wine with us when something wonderful happened. The walls would be lined with accounts of teachers and mentors who lifted us to new heights and co-workers who shared their dedication. There would be almost no end to the zillion names that need to be shouted out to all. Those marvelous persons may not get the sunlight they deserve but they make all of the difference in the world.

Whenever that voice in the back of your head starts to tell you all the reasons you cannot meet the current challenge add the voice that reminds you of what you have already achieved. It is not the first time that you have been faced with some difficult situation, and it is not being Pollyanna to put the issue in a personal historical framework. You have gone through other obstacles, and I would venture to say that most of them have been negotiated successfully. Instead of magnifying the challenge by merely focusing on how difficult it is conjure up all the times you solved similar or even greater challenges. Everyone has that little negative voice in their brain but it is wise to make room for the positive voice also.