Sal's Reflections

One thing that helps us make decisions is the pledge” if you don’t like it return it in 30 days.” This guarantee insulates us from the fear that we may be stuck with something that does not meet our needs. As we approach the New Year it might be helpful in issuing the same guarantee towards a proposed change. It can be a personal decision,a career move or a host of other changes you have been considering. We know from data and research that it takes 30 days for any significant change to occur. With that in mind move out of the comfort zone for 30 days with the guarantee that if it does not work you can go back to the former decision. This safety net may be the key to changing something that will really enhance your life.

There is no simple way to silence our inner critic. For some the voice has been around for a long time reminding us of every failure and perceived weakness. Instead of trying to rid oneself of this voice with some dramatic strategy try a more gentle approach. Invite the voice to an island for a prolonged period of time. Periodic visits may be allowed but make it clear that constant residence in the mind and soul will no longer be allowed. The voice need not be totally in charge of you life Give the voice a name and when it dominates tell it to”chill out”. My name for the voice is “Gloom and doom Sal” and I regularly invite it to “take a hike”,The voice for many may have had a long unfettered run, but it is time to send it away for periods of time.

I am often asked by friends to give them some information that will help them secure a presentation for me
.. There are various topics in my presentations so today I will share one of the requests that I send to organizations regarding the Holocaust.

The new wave of ant-Semitism keeps me up nights. I had the good fortune of studying with Viktor Frankl in Vienna and San Diego.As my mentor and friend he introduced me to many other survivors of the Holocaust.Their stories touched my heart and Viktor once said to me’Now that you know you must be a witness..”I have tried to fill that responsibility by writing two novels about the Holocaust, and have spoken here and in Europe about the roots of the persecution.

I would be honored to make a presentation to your congregation(school,college or organization)addressing the following points::

What were the circumstances and events in Germany that allowed Hitler and Goebbels to scapegoat the Jews?
What role did anti-Judaism play in the tragedy?
Did Christianity play any part in this through the centuries?
How did the pseudo science of race contribute to the genocide?
Did the Vatican know that the atrocities were happening?
Who were the heroes in the non-Jewish world?
How can we move forward in the relationship between Jews and Christians.
sjtagliareni.com

The life of George H.W. Bush offers so many opportunities for reflection and learning. He was driven by service to others and at age 18 was counseled to attend college rather than join the military. He respectfully chose not to follow that advice and became the youngest flyer in the Navy. He flew over fifty combat missions and was shot down and lost two members of his crew.The pain of losing those two men stayed with him for a lifetime and he used that grief to lead a meaningful life. Touched also by losing a young child to cancer he behind the scenes quietly never lost his need to privately comfort others, and he frequently wrote personal notes to those who were in the midst of personal losses. His political life was colored by early losses but he never lost his desire to make a difference. Intensely competitive he evidenced respect for those who beat him in political races. He was a man who could build friendships across the aisle, and was never owned by the label of his party. He was a man with a keen sense of dry humor and loved it when comedians imitated his foibles. This was a man who loved country, family and though born of privilege wanted a fair shake for everyone in this world. The adventurous little boy never left him ,and in his nineties he was sky diving and looking for new horizons. Well done Mr.President, and may your model of life be one that forces all of us to imitate the path that you have shown us.

A person that I have been coaching has had a history of trying to be perfect in every part of her life. Because of this choice she has had tremendous difficulty saying no to any personal or business request. This inability to say no to anything has taxed her physically and psychologically. Last week she turned down a request for additional work and much to her amazement the world did not end. She actually laughed at the lack of consequences that her refusal brought forth. She is an outstanding person ,colleague and worker and is becoming aware that being perfect is literally impossible. There is a vast difference with seeking excellence rather than perfection. Balance does not exist on the “perfection road” and saying no in order to create balance is not a crime.

As Hanukkah begins this evening I am aware of the positive influences Jewish persons have had on my life.It was a Jewish executive Bob Emmanuel who offered me a phenomenal opportunity on Wall Street.It was a Rabbi, Chuck Kroloff that helped me understand the horror of war and opposition to an unjust war.It was a colleague Maddy Bragar who taught me the value of those with handicapping conditions.It was a Jewish psychiatrist , Viktor Frankl who helped me heal at the loss of my best friend. It was all the survivors that I interviewed that shaped my writing and presentations about the Holocaust(Shoah).It is the multitude of Jewish men and women whose presence in my life drives me to be a better person. Tonight in the lighting of the candles I will treasure all that they mean to me.

 A friend told me yesterday that he will make a short speech at his home regarding political exchanges.He will tell his family that growing up in Jersey City there was a profound saying on the wall of the neighborhood saloon.” No arguing about politics or religion.”He will advise those around the table that will be the order of the day in his home for the next few days. Once they leave and get in their cars for the return trip they can slide back into their partisan positions.Seems like a good foundation for a peaceful holiday.

Attended an amazing 90 minute one man show yesterday that dealt with the issues confronting DACA.The individual performer has spent most of his life here, and yet at any moment he could be deported to Guatemala..He is in every sense of the word an American but is caught in a political system that refuses to create an immigration system that is fair and reasonable. The performance was so compelling that the audience was spellbound for the entire 90 minutes..The fear that he lives with each day was so palpable that I could actually feel the anxiety of his experience.It is time for both parties to address this issue and find a path for people who deserve to have a path to full citizenship.

“Why’ is the weapon of choice in the eyes of a small child. Over and over they ask adults “why” on a host of issues.At times adults struggle to provide answers and invariably the reponses lead to more “whys”.As we age it appears that the questions become less and less and frequently we do not explore the reasons behind rules and so many things that influence our lives. We may settle for less than what is possible and I would suggest that we might want to take the “why” out of storage and seek new information. Positive change comes from moving out of the sandbox and exploring possibilities. If we find a “why” we will find a how. Today I am going to ask myself “why” on a least one meaningful thing in my life.

Freedom is not really free and many have paid the price with their blood so we can live freely.My father in law spent three and a half years in the Pacific campaign. My uncle Joe sufferd from PTSD and my godfather’s brother died in Anzio.Cousins and other relatives were wounded in all of our wars and conflicts.

On my own street two nineteen years old’s were killed in Korea and I buried two soldiers in Westfield. Today and every day around the globe members of the military and their families make sacrifices so that I may continue to live my life free from the horrors that many experience.I honor all of them today and hope that we truly support them in every way possible.