Sal's Reflections

Read a disturbing article in the New York Times yesterday which spoke to the alarming rate of suicides by returning veterans. The initial thoughts were that these were prompted by post traumatic stress but further evidence indicates they may be from exposure to frequent explosions. Whatever the causes I would urge every citizen to become aware of these tragedies and write to your congress person demanding that the services for every vet be expanded. There is no excuse for the VA to have inadequate resources to meet the need.These young Americans have experienced the horrors of war and should be treated with the utmost kindness and respect. I have been no fan of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, but I revere those who serve in the military. They are daily in harms way because they courageously represent their country with pride and dedication. They deserve all of us to support them without qualification.

One way to find your inner voice is to write your own reflections daily. When you write your innermost thoughts and observations about life you have the opportunity to bring who you are to the surface It is not necessary to write for publication ,or even to initially share your thoughts with others.Every life is a singular experience and your words have value. I have found that this daily commitment to even a few minutes provides all sorts of insights, and even solutions to challenging issues. If possible set aside fifteen minutes each day to assume the cloak of an author spilling words on to paper without concern for grammar or structure. There are treasures in your pen or computer waiting to find the light of day.

Growing up in the city there were certain cultural rules that were understood by all young persons.One of the abiding guide posts was that if someone pushed ,you , you pushed back. If there was conflict you went on the offensive. Never back down and the goal was always to find ways to win. There certainly is some value in defending yourself against verbal assaults, and following your right to be respected, but it can become the dominant way of a lifestyle.Everyday there are little incidents when it is almost instinctive that I respond with the old city “get in their face attitude”, but I find it less and less fulfilling.Giving someone the”bird” may fill an archaic macho need but it brings nothing positive to the world. Our differences color the way we perceive the world but these mini conflicts can be ways in which we find better ways to handle the myriad confrontations of life.

We all know friends or relatives who have been severely  effected by the economic downturn. Some have suffered significant financial losses in their businesses, and others have been downsized or have seen their future curtailed. The consequences of these realities weighs heavily on a person, and when the financial issues press down there is often a feeling of powerlessness followed by isolation and at times despair. We have all in our lives known times when the money or career worries sapped much of our energy, and i am sure there were moments of self doubt .It is in those moments when a word a gesture or an offer of assistance means so much. If you are one of the fortunate ones whose economic ship has not hit turbulent waters pause for a minute and think about someone you know who is having a rough time. A phone call,e mail or a visit can mean so much to that person because knowing that there is someone who cares makes an enormous difference. You don’t need a magic wand to provide all the answers to their quandary, but standing with them will provide energy and hope.

A dear friend who was somewhat down in the dumps asked me”What can I do to make a difference in this world.” He felt that nothing that he did had any relevance, and that constant desire that is part of everyone to leave an imprint seemed out of reach. The need is so real, and is part of a great opportunity but often is lost in the belief that one person cannot make a significant difference. My advice to my friend was for him to become a volunteer in any organization that brought more light than darkness. Reaching out to fill the void that so many experience transforms every person that becomes a giver. In meeting the legitimate needs of those left out of the equation life brings fulfillment and meaning. The giver is changed for the better when she embraces those that have been marginalized and ignored by circumstances.

Attended a marvelous birthday party last night for a father aged seventy, and his son aged thirty. It was an evening filled with humor, tribute and a clear definition of the meaning that these individuals have had ,and continue to have on the lives of all their guests. These moments not only give us the opportunity to say well done to the celebrants ,they are also opportunities for us to reflect on the many connections that are vital in our own lives. We touch so many others in this adventure ,and it is a worthwhile exercise to pause and realize that who we are, and how we behave has a lasting effect on the seen and unseen.

I rarely stop to think about the endless persons that make my life easier.When I rise and turn on the bedroom light there is not a pause that gives credit to the mechanic at the power center, or the engineer that designed the system that supplies power and light. All of the conveniences of life don’t just happen,they are the end results of persons who daily provide products and services.At almost every moment of this day there will be someone dedicated to making my life easier. Many of these unseen faces probably do not receive a ton of praise or credit ,but if truth be told they are the backbone of the normal life experience. It is only when some function or service does not work that we think about them. Today I wish to be aware of what they bring to the table. I may not know their faces or names ,but at least for now I am grateful for  what they do.