Sal's Reflections

What are the things that you wish to experience in the next few years? Easy to get caught up in the zillion responsibilities of life and it is amazing how time flies . I have found it helpful to look at the future through the prisms of those I love, my work and community. What do I wish to share with those that have filled my life with meaning?Is it more personal time together, or a trip somewhere or some sort of joint venture? What work do I wish to accomplish in the next two years? Is there a project that has been on the back burner that now needs attention? What contributions do I wish to make to my communities?Is there some social cause that needs my time and skills? The only time we have is now and setting those goals that enhance our existence is not merely day dreaming. It is rather achieving the fullness of the life that we are privileged to live.

Every once in a while some vivid happy memory jumps into my consciousness with marvelous intensity.The most recent one that comes to mind is a day in Rome with dear friends. I had been sent back to Rome for graduate wor,k and with Ray and Michael two other graduate students we ventured into the area of the catacombs under St.Peter’s Basilica. Michael was an accomplished archaeologist who guided us through the labyrinth with endless stories and interpretations of the inscriptions on the tombs. The rest of the day was spent in a restaurant near the Piazza Del Popolo gorging ourselves on various Roman delicacies and imbibing on red wines.Ray is now gone, and Michael lives in Paris, but in that immediate recollection they once again are both vibrant parts of my life ,and that day still fills me with the warmth of human friendship.

In a very real sense our lives begin anew each day. The possibilities of growth are ever present when we become aware that there are countless opportunities within the reach of our decision making. Yesterday and all the days before it do not determine the choices that are now available to us. Certainly our habits and patterns of choice are heavy influences ,but they are not the last words.By opening ourselves to new information the world truly becomes a vast phenomenon that allows potential and growth. None of us are totally confined by our past ,and the ever resident explorer within is ready willing and able to embark on new adventures. They may be small leaps ,but they are the sorts of vitality that make our lives ever interesting.

Yesterday I attended an outstanding performance of “A Jew Grows in Brooklyn.” It was a wrenching and hilarious true story of an American immigrant kid growing up. .His parents were survivors of the Holocaust, and through his musical and acting talents he wove us through the complex life of a Jewish boy in America. Much of what he experienced resonated in the memories of my childhood in Jersey City. Certainly there were differences because my Father came from Sicily not because of the Holocaust, but rather because his Father wished for a better life for his family. The struggles for both families initially were the same, and the indomitable spirit of our parents despite prejudice and hardship provided us with the endless opportunities of this great land.
I felt at the end of the performance that I had spent the afternoon visiting two wonderful museums,his family museum and mine.Both were filled with individual priceless art and learning.

Well to pause over this weekend to remember all of those that have died through the history of our nation.At so many critical points in the course of human events men and women have stepped forward and endured tremendous hardships working for the common good.They were of every color ,race,ethnic background and some were straight and others gay. It made no difference where they came from because they were bound to each other by their commitment to the land they loved.Many of us are not serving in the military, but we should honor their sacrifice by working together to make this land what the Founding Fathers intended.The memory of this holiday should not be stained by petty fighting over partisan positions, but rather a clarion call for service to all. We have been blessed beyond measure to live in freedom ,and the price for our way of life is continued commitment to work toward the Vision that this nation aspires to achieve.

Everytime I vote in an election I am aware that that privilege was won by some person dying on a beachhad.Freedom is an American ideal born in the bloodshed and sacrifice of those that have served in the miliatry all over the world. I hate war but never fail to realize that it is through the courage and service of countless heroes that my life is filled with blessings. Even now when I oppose the conflicts that politicians so blithely involve my country in I am proud of all those who are still in harms way.Their courage and dedication are emblems of commitment that fill me with hope for the future. I will remember them today, and will honor in my thoughts and words all who have worn and currently wear the uniform.

You don’t have to wait for your emotions to change before you alter a decision. In any given moment a burst of emotion can overwhelm us. Hurt,sadness,regret and a host of feelings come often without a strong rational set of reasons.There is a growing amount of research that suggests that much of our emotional impulses may be based in our genetic code.However, these do not absolutely determine the outcome of our lives.Behavior is not totally dependent on how we feel. We have the rational ability to act differently than our feelings, and to control not the emotions but the outcomes. We don’t have to be a slave to the way we feel ,and can rise above most situations with a healthy degree of rationality and behavior.Feeding into emotions can deepen all of the negativity that leads to self limitations.You don’t have to deny the way you feel, but you can find reasons to rise above being down in the dumps.

Assuming the posture that “the glass is half full” does not turn life into a fairy tale.However ,being an optimist provides the opportunity to grow even from painful experiences.We have all encountered bumps along the way ,and to deny the pain,confusion or sadness is totally unrealistic. In each of these experiences there were opportunities for growth and the achievement of a deeper understanding of ourselves and life.Pessimism does not enable one to meet the challenges, and often makes every situation worse. The path to shaping the outcome is how we approach the situation,especially with our self talk.We can consciously alter the way we choose to behave in every situation by re framing what we say to ourselves. Words can be dooming us down the path that the glass is half empty, or provide the energy and inspiration to face whatever life offers. I have chosen over and over to believe that the glass is half full.

My first year of living in New York found me daily walking along the river and gazing out at the statue of Liberty.The profound beauty of that gigantic statue posed over the river had greeted thousands who came to America with their hopes and dreams Day after day her torch lit the hopes of many who came with little but their hope for a better life As a symbol she embraced everyone.”Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

That is the America that I love and have wed my soul to the wondrous words found at the base of the statue.
An America that does not balance the budget on the backs of the disabled,the hungry,children and those with the least. An America that does not spend all its’ time on repeating “woe is we.” That beloved statue is still a beacon of hope, and we must not diminish her torch by being timid.We are the progeny of those that made it across the ocean,conquered the wilderness and on countless hopeless moments found ways to rise from the mud to overcome mammoth odds. We have survived Depressions,days of infamy,scandal and a host of bleak periods. Instead of merely trying to turn the clock back it is preferable to emulate our forebearers and face head on the challenges that are on the table.That wondrous symbol still welcomes us to be what we all once believed that we were.

There are times when the quest for things that I desire seems to overshadow the things that have already graced my life. It is easy to take for granted the myriad things that we don’t see as blessings until they are gone.I can see this screen, and am able to walk to the local bakery for my morning scone. Now I am listening to Mozart ,and I have truly never missed a meal in my entire life. Friends have been kind and loved ones have always been there for me. I have had the good fortune of being exposed to brilliant minds and learning. Sometimes the learning has come from the famous and other moments from those marginalized by society. I have been privileged to raise children and see the world through their evolving eyes. The list of blessings is endless and must be revisited when I am somehow distracted about what i do not have,