Sal's Reflections

No words can have real meaning in the light of the madness in Aurora.How do you find meaning in such a senseless massacre? My heart bleedsfor all those today whose lives have been ended or shattered.Like all
others I feel anger,confusion,sorrow and a host of other raw emotions. Itis more than difficult to find even a semblance of value in this tragedy.The only reality that gives a minimum of meaning is that in the stark darkness of this horror is the opportunity to recalibrate and focus our lives. No one knows what today or tomorrow will bring, but while there is breath the opportunity to focus on the real values we cherish is more visible. Today those we love seem more precious and at least for a few hours the genuine focus of what we value is clearer.

The tragedy in Colorado raises again the issue of the
total lack of our political leadership regarding the ban on assault weapons,and a gun policy that is more in tune with the desires of the American people.My grandfather and father hunted when I was a child so I understand the valid view of gun ownership, but there is no need for these other weapons
to be sold in our country. This has NOTHING to do with the second amendment.It is a ludicrous rationale that these protect us against a tyrannical government.The reality is that political leaders of both parties are OWNED by the NRA.They will
utter pious words over this senseless tragedy but they will then return to their roles of paid whores of the lobbyists. The majority of the American people want more sanity
added to the sale of guns, but like in many other cases we have lost our power to the mighty and those that make the rules. Voting is still the hope ,and I urge you regardless of your political stripes to vote out the spineless politicians who continue to be worthless in their performance for the American people.

When I was a young man my country suffered a serious wound with the intolerant witch hunt by Senator Joseph McCarthy. It was an ugly stain on the wondrous essential values that have made this democracy a shining light on a hill. Recently some members of our congress are headed down the same bigots path by conjuring conspiracies against some outstanding public citizens because of their Muslim affiliation. Much to his credit Senator John McCain deplored these unfounded allegations on the floor of the congress. My hat is off to the Senator and I pledge to defend any citizen on either side of the political fence when they are besmirched
by the lunatic fringe.

Most of us pick up at least one grudge along the way.We have a file stored in our minds and souls about why we still feel anger and hurt. Our case is clear and anyone with an open mind would clearly understand why we still carry bruised feelings. Even if we are the party in the dispute that is innocent what value does this anger bring to our lives? Does it enable us to grow as persons and free us to spend time and energy on more positive pursuits? I have found that there is no current value in revisiting over and over the reasons why I am justified in continuing the grudge. I don’t have to be naive or gloss over my version of the truth but maybe it is time to let it go

There is something so rewarding about performing unexpected acts of kindness for others. The smile that occurs or the grateful word do more for the giver than the person who is the recipient. It makes an ordinary day
extraordinary when we lift the spirits of loved ones,friends and even strangers. We don’t have to wait for special occasions to bring these moments of joy. Today I will try
to brighten someones day with at least one act of kindness.

There are three words that have a large influence on our lives.The words are wish,want and choose. Wish is a marvelous
one that is usually connected to our fantasies.There are many things we wish for but usually don’t spend a lot of time on actuallly behaving in ways that make the wish come true. There is enjoyment in the wish fantasies but they come and go. Want is a phenomenon that in many cases has more immediacy because it has moved more poignantly to our consciousness. It has a higher degree of probability and is not as easily dismissed as the word wish.Choose is a whole different reality because it requires behavior and commitment. I suggest that you look at your wish and want list and see if there is anything you decide to move to your choose list. Once you choose whatever it is take the first step toward that chice today.

I cannot repeat the plea to assist anyone you know that is in the throes of the job search too often.It is almost impossible to provide anyone with a job by merely calling a friend or passing on a resume. However,it is so helpful to assist in the process by listening,encouraging and reinforcing the self worth of the individual. We all know that being unemployed can call into question so many doubts, and feeling alone in the process can be physically and emotionally debilitating.The support and counsel along the way will be key to the recharging that is required to sustain focus and commitment in the process. Many times your help will not be requested for a variety of reasons, so please sharpen your antenna and be proactive in reaching out.

Three years ago yesterday my Mother in law Dorothy Murray died.This marvelous woman had many roles in her ninety something years on this earth but her most telling name was “Nana.” She had such a zest for life and adults and children were attracted to her magnetic personality and unbelieveable social skills. All of our friends would always ask about Nana and each one had at least one special Nana
story. One of my favorites was centered around her high school reunion when she was in her late eighties. She was tinkering with the idea of buying a relaively expensive pair of
Ferragamo shoes for the occasion. She was hesitant because she thought she might die before the celebration and did not wish to waste the money. I assured her that if she died we would have a full box with a spotlight on the shoes. She roared at my comment and passed the story on to all her friends.
Some people come and go in our hearts and minds, but Nana is and always will be frontand center in the hearts of all that were privileged to know her.

I am giving an open invitation to anyone who is unemployed to ask for ongoing counseling and support via email. This recession has produced a new group of people
who have had successful careers but now in the middle of their lives are unemployed. This reality is so difficult that some feel shame and are embarrassed by their predicament.They
have done nothing to deserve this and despite the pain and anxiety every day look for new opportunities.I do not have a magic wand but offer via email counseling and support in the process so that they realize that someone cares. If you know anyone in this boat please give them my email.

I just watched a heart wrenching program on HBO about the middle class unemployed families on Long Island. These were hard working people who played by all the rules and now in their middle years are facing financial ruin. The toll that this takes physically and mentally can be devastating. Many times that are ashamed to tell those in their familial and social circle what has happened. I hope that if their is anyone in my world who is in this boat I will have the sensitivity and awareness to reach out to them. We cannot as a nation allow the petty political posturing to continue to wreak havoc in the lives of our brothers and sisters. There are thousands of ways that we can right this economy and allow people to again participate in the American dream. This is not a story of listless people living on the dole, but rather great human beings stripped of the dignity of work that they spent much of their life preparing for and dedicated themselves to be productive citizens. We can not stand by and ignore the pain that is so close that we can touch it.