Sal's Reflections

In all of us there is some wistful dream or goal that we desire.There never seems to be time or adequate resources to pursue this dream so it remains on the back burner. What if for the next two weeks you treated this as a real goal? Suppose you took the first behavioral steps toward this dream? What would it be like if you did not have the problems that prevent this from becoming reality?What will happen if you substitute beliefs with positive statements instead of the negative ones that you play constantly in your head? I believe that if you do this for two weeks you may find that your dream moves from I wish,I want to I choose.

A great deal of self talk is quite negative.I hear things like” I am terrible at math” or “I could never learn to speak another language” or” I am too old to take classes.” The words have an effect on how we behave. If we limit ourselves with speech that directly hinders choices we mimimize opportunities. Changing self talk is not magic by itself but it is the first step toward changing behavior. We behave to the words that constantly reinforce the way we see the world. If you wish to create new opportunities for yourself and others I suggest that you monitor your speech.Substituting new positive speech will present the ways to have new and hopefully more fulfilling choices.

When we think of leadership usually some historic singular person comes to mind. I would suggest that though true is very limiting. Every person has within herself to be a transforming leader in her environment. The key is to reach within and follow the passion of belief. Making a difference comes from the confidence that you can make a difference. I have never met anyone who when they capture he passion cannot change their environment.Greatness things are achieved by ordinary people when they have passion and purpose.

I grew up in a family where it was the order of the day to perform frequent acts of kindness for others. My parents did not dole out long lectures on why we should be kind to others. Rather they behaved consistently with the care of others as their mantra. They were the first to celebrate the joy of friends and family and would drop everything to respond to others in time of need. Often it was just their silent presence that made a difference in the lives of others.It often does not receive public notice or adulation but those endless acts of kindness made a difference in so many lives. I am a better person today by understanding the value and effect of acts of kindness.

Hordes of the negative aspects of the aging process are everywhere. The avalanche of all the woes make it a minefield to be at best tolerated. There is no doubt that the physical limitations begin to visit all at a certain age. However there is also an upside. The realization ,different from our youth,is that life is not endlees.it has an end. With this in mind there is no expiration date on all that life offers in the meantime. It is never too late while breath pulses for new learning,new adventures and the quest of our dreams.I have learned that each day is precious, so my goal is to take a bite out of life each day.

When you pick up a newspaper or watch cable television it is quite easy to come to the conclusion that things are awful. Constantly bombarded with the sad and the violent stories one could come to the conclusion that we are headed off the cliff. There is no doubt that there are frightening occurences around the world which should merit more than our casual concern. However,it is well to look at the millions of people who every day strive to make the world a better place. The hospice nurse who eases the pain of a patient and supports the emotional needs of the caregivers. The parent who juggles hundreds of responsibilities and rarely has a free moment.The civil servant that repairs a road or helps an immigrant fill out necessary paper work. Millions of acts each second that enable others to lead lives of meaning. You cannot deny the trials and tribulations of the human experience but to focus on only that minimizes the wonder of the total scenario.There is evil and ugliness in the world but I see far more goodness,kindness amd commitment to others than the bleak gloom and doom versions.

I am certain that each of us knows someone who has a terminal illness. The pain of this reality is without measure and it is critical that we let them know how important they are to us.The isolation of the process is part of the pain and letting them know how much we care about them is vital.It is also vital to remember that the caregiver in the family also suffers in so many ways. They need our love and attention as much as the person suffering from the physical issues. We need to reach out and offer .to share whatever part of the burden that meets their needs. There is no greater symbol of friendship then being truly available to them

Yesterday on the plane I had a fascinating conversation with the person sitting next to me.I had a copy of Hitler’s priest and the person asked about the book. After a few minutes on the book the conversation drifted to the contemporary American political situation. He is an active member of the Tea Party and as many of you know I am the president of the”Bleeding heart Association.” Our conversation was polite and absent of rancor and though we are far apart from each other I felt that both parties were respectful to each other. We never were held captive to labels and at the end I felt that we had both benefitted from the dialogue.

To be called”a Bleeding Heart” is ofteen a put down. It indicates that you are soft and seek to reward those who have chosen to ride the gravy train without any responsibility.The label indicates that to focus on the poor and marginalized ignores the fact that they have chosen their lot in life. However.I find myself with the coinviction that this portrayal of people, who by and large don’t get a fair shake, is more naive than being a bleeding heart. Underneath culture resides the desire for employment,decent housing and opportunities for children. Without these being possible anger and frustration lead to all of the negative behaviors of alienation. To care deeply about this reality is not driven by naievete but rather the embeded conviction that there is ever the need for social justice and community concern for everyone. If that merits my wearing “a Bleeding Heart” badge then I will wear it with pride.

I am tired of the endless charges hurled at politicians from their opponents.Millions of dollars spent on taking anything out of context to point out flaws. The negative tone of this process makes seeking common ground almost impossible.For most of us this approach is foreign to our normal daily lives. I have never worked in an organization where finger pointing was the dominant strategy.
Diverse opinions almost always lead to better objectives but operating solely on the villain theory produces only the quagmire that we see today in Washington.