Sal's Reflections

Due to a partial hearing loss in my left ear I was required to have an MRI yesterday. To say I was anxious may be the greatest understatement ever made. The worse part before sliding into the tube was the frame like piece that is put over your face. The radiologist I am sure has had thousands of patients embark on this dreadful experience but he treated me with such kindness and concern that he made the test possible. Not only did he assure me that I had control in the sense that I could push a button an he would immediately remove me from the tube. He went further and explained why I should close my eyes and listen to the classical music which would block out the grinding sounds of the test. In addition he would tell me where we were in the process and offered consistent encouraging words. Kindness is always the secret ingredient that makes any situation better.

If you view the world as a library there are daily opportunities for learning and growth.No one ever masters the amount of information that is readily available. New relationships as well as old offer moments where we as students of life continue to develop.Today the library of life is open and waiting for us to pause and reflect on the treasures that are right in front of us.

The Cross or the Swastika” is in the final editing process so I am starting to finalize parts of the speaking tour. Have a lot of balls in the air but would welcome the opportunity to speak in all parts of the country. It appears that the California, Florida parts will be next January and February. Also Germany and hopefully Italy are potential possibilities for next spring. If you have a particular venue that you feel would be appropriate let me know and I will try and adjust the schedule. Really looking forward to this part of the ongoing process

One of my mentors years ago taught me that the way we approach significant issues has a major effect on the outcomes. He suggested that at times words make a huge difference. The example he used was the word” problem.” If we focus on the “problem” then we often make the issue one that is mammoth and may be beyond solution. However if we substitute the word “challenge” “then our brains operate in a very different manner and the issue may become less difficult. He also suggested that we look at the end result we desire before we even begin to address the issue. Ask yourself he said “what would it be like if I were to completely resolve this? Or what does finished look like”?

June 19th was my sister’s birthday and it has been over twenty years since she died from cancer.Tina was one of the kindest ,most caring persons on the planet.She never missed an opportunity to show compassion for anyone that was down on their luck, and had a special place in her heart for children. She was Godmother officially and by adoption to legions. She never sought the spotlight, but everyone realized what a blessing she was.Tina never understood the word stranger because once she met you then you were immediately part of her care and concern. . Blessed with a marvelous sense of humor even in the final days of her illness she brightened the lives of patients, nurses and her physicians. Three nurses traveled over a hundred miles to attend her funeral. Her most special gift was that she had the ability to make you feel that you were the most special person in the world. She may be gone physically, but her presence remains in our hearts and minds for she was truly a woman for all seasons.

Yesterday I watched a father spend over an hour trying to teach his young daughter to ride a bike. She was initially very frightened and hesitant, but he consistently spoke gently to her and was supportive of her despite a series of failed attempts.Never criticizing her reluctance he kept encouraging her, and at one point it appeared that she was ready to quit. He embraced her and said”The next one will be the one Janie.”She on the brink of tears drew strength from his unwavering faith in her and once more tried. It appeared that this attempt would also fail as he steadied her wobbly ride, but then it happened she began to feel her stride and at one point he let go and off she went. The smile on her face as she came back would light the city of New York. We all need to give and receive encouragement at every age

The birth of a child is such a wondrous moment. I am still in awe when I recall witnessing the birth of both of my children. However, these miracles were followed by a wave of fear initially when I realized the responsibility of raising a child. No one ever does it perfectly, but they were journeys so filled with millions of moments that touched my heart ,and the fear and trepidation paled compared to the fulfillment of guiding and loving a child.. It is wonderful to be honored for this vocation, but it should also be a day when as a father I am so grateful for the rewards and joy that I have gained from my children.

I learned many things from my Father, Sal and Elaine’s Dad, Bud. Most of all what stands out was their generosity in every situation. It was more than monetary giving, it was that no matter what happened they were the first on the scene. It mattered little whether it was a time of grief or joy, they were there. In my mind they were “show up ” people, and never used inconvenience or other excuses not to help Never trying to steal the spotlight, their strength and love always made a difference.No one I know is more deserving of memory and honor than these two stars.

My family has been fortunate in that it has a group of outstanding fathers. My brother is the senior member of the clan and in high school he was voted “most likely to succeed.” Well that prediction was most true in every aspect of his life, but none more clearly then as a father. He was always there for each of his daughters and their outstanding achievements as people are testament to his care and love. The same could also be stated for my brothers in Boston and New Jersey, Mark.Tom and Jay. Last but not least is my son John who has shown me in so many ways how to be a Father that loves his child beyond measure. Happy Fathers day to them all.

As Father’s day approaches I am aware of so many Fathers who have taught me how to care for others. Today I would like to publicly thank Fathers Frank McNulty and Jack Murphy. Frank has been my friend and mentor since I was a high school junior. His kindness is legend, and now at the age of eighty eight he continues to enrich the lives of all who are privileged to know him. Jack Murphy though long gone physically is with me every day in spirit. He was truly one of the great gifts of my life, and like Frank brought warmth and kindness every where he went. Happy Fathers day to these two wonderful men.