Sal's Reflections

I am experiencing seeing the world through the eyes of my seven year old granddaughter Erica while on vacation at the Lake of the Ozarks. She wakes up with this boundless enthusiasm, and it seems that every moment is a savored adventure, Her sparkling eyes and youthful inquisitiveness see the world in vivid 3 D dimensions. I am captivated by the boundless energy that can move from one thing to another with seamless wonder.It is too bad that the technology for transplants is not so advanced so that one could inject her personality. I would be the first on line to volunteer.

>

The challenge of a long term change in a habit or behavior can be quite daunting. I have found that it is reasonable to alter the behavior for a one week period and test the water without a complete leap.. Treat it as aone week trial with a money back guarantee. If the desired change is more exercise, or cessation of smoking, or more time to read do it for a one week period, Committing to a permanent change may be too difficult to take on with a final decision..A week is a period where if the decision is serious it will become more firm, and could lead to significant change. Climbing the mountain may be beyond the scope of our will but a week passes quite fast.

One of my closest friends despite being a marvelous person is an inveterate pessimist. His initial reaction to any major issue tends to see only the downside. He once said to me “how can you always see the bright side when the reality is that many if not most challenges are more heavily weighed on the negative side?”I thought for a few moments and responded with these words.” I cannot remember one good thing that has happened in my life by being negative or pessimistic. “I do not live in Disneyland, but being an optimist has allowed me to find alternatives in the midst of many difficult equations. It does not magically make the issue easy or trite, but it has fortunately allowed be to see the silver lining rather than the black cloud.

“You have to be realistic” These words have been rolled out a zillion times in the course of human history and fortunately some people ignored them. You would have to live in a bubble not to realize there are limitations in life and everything does not have a happy ending. However, we would still be working on developing a candle had there not been people who saw beyond” the realistic”. In each life there are boundaries and the daily responsibilities but to insist that that’s all there is confines us to the predictable and realistic. There is more to the adventure and once we go beyond the “realistic” we share the wonder of the dreamers who make life so much more fulfilling. Be realistic, but also be a dreamer and reach for your star.

It is the rare person that goes through life without getting stuck at least once. Circumstances,old learning ,repetitive negative self talk that creates feelings of helplessness, and a host of other debilitating perceptions can make us feel like we are in a maze. In the throes of being stuck there may be the belief that this situation has become permanent. I would never take it lightly that someone is in this position but in reality being stuck can be temporary. The first step to uncouple yourself in this situation is to change the speech patterns. Speech is the foundation of behavior and altering the words that reinforce the negative situation is the way to new opportunities. Repeating the following phrase alters the circumstances”I no longer accept the fact that this situation is permanent. I choose to find ways to not be stuck ..”

It would be a real blessing if everyone had the opportunity to experience the gift of an experienced life coach. Someone that would not make decisions for you but would assist and guide you in the key areas of your life and career. However ,not everyone can afford or have the opportunity to have this resource available, so they may have to find a different way to focus on the direction of their life. I would suggest that they become their own life coach. They can start in a simple way by writing down three goals that they wish to achieve in the next year.
Next it would be important to write why these are important and what will be the benefits. In addition to this it would be essential to identify what will happen if there is no attempt to achieve these. Will life be better or worse if no serious attempts are made?.Last but not least as a coach is to move these goals to behaviors. What would be the first step toward achievement?

One of the positive by products of publishing is that it offers many opportunities to create a thick skin.In the last three years these are samples of remarks I have incurred,some verbal and others written,”Why write about the Jews ,you are not a Jew?” Book is too long and has too many characters”.From a literary agent” I loved Hitler’s Priest but I won’t represent you because you are a nobody.”No one reads historical fiction so why waste your time?”These and many others are part of the experience and for many people who are not writers they have encountered similar negative criticisms. They are told that they are “too dumb””,too fat” “too this or that “and certainly these criticisms may have a negative lasting influence on their lives. My suggestion is we must all listen to other’s observations and take them seriously. However we don’t have to let them limit our goals and dreams.

How many times have you realized that you were” sitting on the fence. ” and struggling with a decision? There were so many things to consider and you were afraid that both sides of the possible decision had consequences. The temptation is to wait for absolute clarity and make sure that the final decision is the right one. Sounds good and appears to be very rational and responsible, but it is faced on a false premise. The reason you are on the fence is that there are probably strong arguments on both sides of the fence. I think that most decisions ultimately are 60-40 and waiting for the 100% decision is a decision not to decide. If you have been on the fence for a long period maybe it is time to trust yourself and pick a side to land on.

I have had the distinct opportunity through the years to live and work in other countries. There are obvious differences and cultural habits abound .However, once you go below the surface it becomes apparently clear that we are more alike than different. Most human beings are decent, caring and desire the same basic needs of life. The ones that I encountered in everyplace I was fortunate to visit wanted freedom,work,housing and opportunity for their loved ones. It is easy to forget these basic similarities once religious or civil conflict arises.Labels take over, and causes justify all sorts of horrible acts. The purity of these causes is a veneer that blocks out the common threads that could bind us together. It is not naïve to hold to the hope that so called ordinary people must see this and overwhelmingly convince their governments to cease the way of the sword .It is time to negotiate not to win but to recapture the real goals of freedom for all.

One of the real joys in life are the periodic visits with friends that are tied at the hip regardless of frequency of physical presence. Judy and Dave Collins epitomize this kind of friendship and though I rarely see them these days the connection is always instant. I stayed with them last night in New York and from the very first second we connect as if we had seen each other yesterday. They are wonderful people and the wonder of their friendship remains one of the treasures of my life.