Sal's Reflections

  I was raised to believe in American exceptionalism but I am troubled that there appears to be no mammoth ideas at the national level. Political campaigns argue over social issues that I thought were resolved years ago. Strident words without any real vision have left America at a crossroad without any dynamic vision. A nation that built a national higway system,went to the moon, struggled toward a great society,freed the people of Europe from the Nazi’s and created the Internet seems rudderless. It is not the lack of imagination from the people, but rather the lack of leadership at the top. We as a people cannot wait for courage from the elected, and the spirit of those who came and built this great land. must come to the front.We have no Lincoln or Jefferson at the helm ,but there are legions who unleashed will make us leap beyond the current malaise that prevents what we want and need.Demand those at the top to either lead or get out of the way

I believe that lives are raised to new levels when we are in constant search of energy and inspiration. When we don’t continuosly seek energy and inspiration it is fairly simple for us to fall into a rut.Almost like the movie “Ground Hog Day” where over and over the same scenario plays out.Samenes is not necessarily a negative ,but without energy our lives can become dull and even tedious. Where does one find energy and inspiration? I find it in developing insatiable curiosity about people,events causes .the arts and a bevy of daily opportunities that stir my mind and spirit. There is no dearth of chances to grow and assimilate the wonders that are often at our fingertips. A friend once told me that when the spider moves the entire web is affected. When we are ever in search of energy and inspiration our whole social net is moved toward greater growth.

I am surprised at the number of stories at the national level that deal with the removal of persons in political campaigns who are pressured to resign because they are gay. I naively believed that this social pressure had been minimized ,and we had moved to a point where people understood the value of each person’s worth. Sexual preference, in my opinion, is not a category to be judged or evaluated. Rather it is a way of life no less valuable than the straight path.Neither disposition defines character or value .I subscribe to the Dr.King posture that stated we should judge people by the content of their character not by race,creed or sexual preference.There are openly gay friends in my world, and they are as diverse in every aspect as my straight friends.The good news is that many young people I know have shed the bias that lingers in some  older persons. Respect for everyone is the foundation of a great society.Our marching orders are life ,liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This is as deeply intended for the gay community as well as the straight community.

In every life there are circumstances where friends and loved ones have hit a difficult patch.For some it is a debilitating illness where each day saps their strength ,and the most basic functions require herculean effort.For others the challenges may be the loss of a job and the burden of economic survival haunts their every thought.Still others are pained by relationships gone south or a host of hurdles that make them feel empty and alone. In these ,and all of the travails of life, the anchor is the support of what I love to call “show up people”. These are the friends and love ones who come when they are needed to console,to aid,to counsel and often just to listen. They never think only of themselves ,and are their not for praise but because they care. I know many of these wonderful souls, and I urge all of us to turn on the emotional radar and join them in their commitment to others.

Years ago I spent a good portion of Christmas eve with Junior Seau in Boston.We  had mutual friends and met after dinner in a local pub .Junior knew my background and we  spent hours talking about life,meaning and how to make the world a better place. If you believe in the myth that athletes are not bright Junior would quickly dispel that image. I found him to be incredibly intelligent , and he had an insatiable curiosity  about a host of issues. Much of the time he listened intently and was deeply interested in everything I had to say.Fame and fortune did not appear to be a burden to his humanity, and it was refreshing to hear his views on responsibility to others. It was obvious why his teammates and fans held him in such regard.It was more than his athletic skills;he was a human magnet and exceptional leader. Yesterday I learned of his death and it stunned me.This young ,vibrant person was obviously in tremendous emotional pain and ended his life.Regardless of the reasons why he ended his life,it  deeply saddens me and makes me keenly aware that we never know the struggles that occur within the souls of even the most successful.I hope that in my circle if there is anyone in such pain, that there will be some opportunity for me to bring whatever will alleviate that pain and provide a glimmer of hope.

A dear friend recently told me he was bored with almost every aspect of his life. He felt that he was in a rut. Never the master with all the answers I inquired “if you were not bored what would you be involved with this week?” Immediately he spilled out three interesting projects that he would find fascinating. My premise is that all of us fall into patterns and ruts, but it is worthwhile to ask the question”What would it be like if I was not bored”? There are millions of small.medium and gigantic opportunities in life and many do not require massive amounts of time ,money and energy. I am always amazed that once I open my brain to the possibilities there are so many new moments to learn,give and develop.

My friend Robert is eighty nine years old and is a fountain of wisdom. An accomplished artist with a national reputation he exudes humility and charm. Recently he shared one of his life learning principles.”Be careful not to consistently say”No” to new experiences and opportunities” He went on to explain that his life has had very few regrets but the ones he remembered was when he said “No”. He explained that the abundance of joy in his life came when he said “Yes” to opportunities outside his comfort zone.This counsel certainly reinforces my experience where the hurdles became less important ten the experience behind them. “No” is a worthwhile tool in the knapsack but using it too often limits the wonder that is available to all that also utilize “Yes”.

My driving words in life have been”Once you will it then it is no longer a dream”. We are all target oriented and once we send the signals consistently to our brain then we become more and more aware of the resources necessary to achieve our goals.If we see them,say them on a regular basis then the brain realizes that this is not merely a simple wish list.I would suggest that the two times we are most positively susceptible to the positive goals we choose to fulfill are just before sleep and when we wake.In those moments ask yourself what would it feel like if this really happened.Every time you invest in the process and reinforce it somehow every day ,it is amazing what can be accomplished.

I have found that if there is a secret to achieving any positive outcome in life there must be sustained effort. That little negative voice in our brain is ever ready to tell us to quit, and reinforces this with a host of negative beliefs .If you listen to this torrent of reasons as to why you can’t achieve your goal then the effort and dream will die. However,I cannot promise pie in the sky, but I assure you that if you alter that voice with new positive statements better results will follow.Instead of “there is no way you can do this” substitute” ” I will find a way to achieve this.” Sustained effort,and new belief statements will not take away the need for consistent behavior ,but they will provide the necessary energy and inspiration.

If you look closely at my personality I am sure that you will find some likable characteristics and some not so nice characteristics, The point of that statement is that I am far from a perfect person. With that in mind, I am reminded that I need not expect perfection from anyone else when there is no way that I can measure up to the perfect standard. We come from diverse backgrounds and at time as friends drive each other crazy . However, ,those differences are the spice of life that enables us to grow and flourish. The joy of friendship is that others care and accept who we are and value their connection to us. I am ever grateful for my friends and realize that even with their flaws I am blessed to have them in my life.I hope that they can find enough to love in this pilgrim ever looking to improve.