Sal's Reflections

I am always amazed that when I venture out of myself and allow the spirit of generosity to florish I receive more that I give. Boundless rewards seem to flow my way when I put others first.It is wonderful to have a strong ego but perhaps more meaningful to buoy the spirits and minds of others. There are vast opportunities every day to make a difference by realizing that we are surrounded with simple opportunities to achieve greatness. It may be a phone call, a smile, an offer to help or the silent willingness to share the pain of another. My prayer today is that I am willing and able to elevate my needs to mesh with those I encounter.

I saw a marvelous movie”The Intouchables” over the weekend. It is a beatiful story about the relationship between a man paralyzed from the neck down and his rogue caretaker.The relationship which from a rational point of view is totally illogical but they bond into a moving friendship. There are many lessons from this journey but the one that stands out for me is the beauty and relevance of every life. Physical disability can be harsh and painful but it can never blot out the beauty of any life.

One of my dearest friends in the throes of a major illness has had one setback after another. He and his loved ones have handled the circumstances with courage and grace. Their sutuation is a constant reminder that much of what I take for granted can be gone in a fleeting second. All of the physical abilities to see.hear.walk and partake in the fullness of daily life are gifts to be treasured. I hope that my friend and his love ones find some measure of peace in their hours of great need, for with all the other physical gifts that I currently possess they pale compared to the love and friendship I share with them.

Everyone carries some festering situation or memory that requires energy to keep the issue going.The grevience may well be founded in reality and the righteousness of your position may be valid but what is the value of retaining it? The person or situation is part of the past and keeping it alive may prevent you from experiencing more positive pursuits .Putting a time limit on the situation may free you up to move the energy into more productive goals.It is not merely the need to forget because that may not be possible. But it is possible to rationally remind yourself that the statue of limitations will allow you to not be captive to the past.

” I don’t think about him once in a while,I think about him every day”.These are the words of a friend whose son died over twenty years ago in an automobile accident.The idea that time allows closure is a flawed one. Certainly life goes on but the loss is ever present .My friend Jack Murphy died over forty years ago and I still think about him regularly. Closure is a nice concept but that’s all it is.Certainty we pick up the pieces but the love we have for that special person is not something we file away and examine on special days of remembrance. They are part of us and allowing them to be in our hearts and consciousness keeps them alive in a special way..

In my corporate consulting days I always asked my clients on a regular basis”what have you learned about your business.?” That question always brought forth new information that helped the business move forward. On a personal level there is also a question that can bring forth new and positive opportunities. “What have you learned about life?” Recently we were all made aware of how fragile and limited time can be and so the question leads to “what do I want to do with the rest of my life?” It may be years ,decades or a shorter period but the need to choose so many goals is within our reach .It is a great question and answering it on a regular basis is what makes life worth living.

At the bakery this morning an adorable little girl was seated with her father. He had purchased his coffee ,bagels and wished to return home with his wares in tow.The sweet angel was having none of it. She was seated and ready to eat her bagel. The father stated”It’s time to go honey”.Unmoved by the marching order she reverted to the one word parents fear to hear”.Why?” The father went through the gyrations of rationality but again came the stumbling block”.Why?” After
six or seven attempts the father moved to compromise.”How
about we have one bite of your bagel and then we go home and see mommy? “The little angel thought for a moment and finally gave her consent. I thought there are probably opportunities in my life on the other side of” Why?”

It is truly amazing that you can spend years away from a friend and then you see them and you pick up right where you left off. In all of our lives there are special people who enter and make an indelible impression on us. We share everything with them, and life is more meaningful because of their friendship. Theses golden relationships are not always retained in the physical sense because schooling,careers and new obligations cause usto relocate. However,these friends are somehow always present, and the opportunity to be with them again is wondrous. I have known such treasures, and today I will remind myself to contact at least one of them ,to letthem know that despite the absence they are always a part of me.

Everyday I hear beliefs uttered that control the choices we make in our lives. A great deal of these are negative and are probably rooted in mazes of earlier perceptions.”I am not good at mathematics or I could never learn another language.” These beliefs trigger the responses that enable our brains to shut down any opportunities for new learning and behavioral change. Listen to yourself over the next few days and see if there are any beliefs that constrain your opportunities for change and growth. If so ,I would suggest that you substitute new enabling beliefs and make them part of what you say ,see and move toward. The minute you say”I can and choose to learn something you are a better candidate than one who lives solely by old negative beliefs.

In the movie”The Shawshank Redemption” there is a powerful line that focuses the reality of choice.One of the characters says”get on with the living or get on with the dying”. That statementis really the choice that faces each of us. There are always obstacles in every one’s life but how we react to those define
who we are.”Getting on with the living” is not merely a Pollyanna phrase that makes every choice painless, rather it is an anchor that
reminds us that life is worth living and leaping into the beauty of life has rewards beyond measure. Today I choose to”get on with the living”.