Sal's Reflections

If you are bored there are many ways to overcome the boredom. One of the best ways is to do something nice for someone else. Volunteer to assist a program that helps children or older adults. Go on a writing gratitude trip within your personal history. Select a goal that you have been thinking about for the last five years. Make a list of the movies you would like to see in the next four months. and write a review for Facebook of your favorite movie or book. Take a risk and ask someone whose company you would enjoy for lunch. Start a book club or join one. Boredom becomes a habit and the best way to overcome it is activity.

In less than ten minutes you can call someone who you know is lonely and having a difficult time. Send an email to support a cause you believe in. Write a one page note of praise to one who has helped you in this life. Tell someone close to you that you love them. Forgive in your heart someone that you have been holding a grudge toward for too long.If you spend ten minutes each day in this fashion your life will have more meaning and you will positively enhance the lives of others.

People within the beltway in Washington appear to know only one model of behavior. The preferred and often only style of operating is to rigidify positions, demonize the other and cause gridlock. The debt ceiling is the classic issue which most of us outside of Washington realize is not merely a game of “chicken”. If we fail to resolve this the consequences, for not only every American but the entire global economy, are frightening. We send our politicians to Washington to lead not act like bullies or victims. We need to mobilize every quarter of our society to alter this fortress mentality that pervades every issue. We the citizens must place enough pressure on the politicians to stop thinking about hollow victories and start seeking solutions to the most significant challenges.

Years ago I was so fortunate to work with Dave Collins. He,a brilliant lawyer and strategic thinker ,showed me the value of collaboration and idea building. Dave did not believe in the silo corporate model, and he forced people to think outside of their disciplines. It was foreign to many  initially, but eventually we all benefitted from the realization that not one of us had the complete answer to any challenge. The ability to build on each other’s contributions and ideas led to solutions that were beyond any solo thinking. The proof was in the pudding, because through Dave’s inveterate belief every member of his management team was successful not only as corporate executive but also as a human being..

I am certain that the reality of the loss has become even more devastating for the families of the victims. What can we do today to assist them in this painful adjustment to losses beyond imagination? Nothing can bring their loved ones back, but continued attempts to prevent future mass murders may bring some sense of meaning. Today I will again write the president and all my elected officials and plead with them to not merely make profound announcements and then move on. We cannot merely weep, but must address every aspect connected with the ever increasing number of murders in our land. Guns are only part of the necessary plan, and it is time to fully examine how we treat mental health and the needs of those who suffer from mental difficulties.

Nothing worthwhile will come from placing gun owners into a corner and making statements that push them into defensive postures. I am not a gun owner, but clearly understand that legally people have a right to own guns. I would like to engage them in ways that we could all support that would lessen the possibility of any person being killed in the future. It is a complex challenge and labeling some will provide nothing. Gun owners and persons like me are equally horrified at what happened in Newtown. Real dialogue will do more to honor the victims than harsh words and concrete positions.

In every social circle there exists wide ripples of strong convictions. Some of us hold political and religious views that differ dramatically. Though this is reality, we often show each other respect and are more than willing to be courteous and honor others beliefs. This behavior I believe must be replicated at the national level where we cease the labeling and seek practical solutions in every challenge area. Little will be gained by forming iron clad positions on how to minimize gun violence. Polarizing positions on immigration will yield no positive movement toward incorporating others into the American dream. On everyone of our challenges there is truth and insight in positions other than our own. It is vital that we stop shouting, labeling and listen to the wealth of diversity that will yield common ground.

Thirty seven years ago in a hospital in California I was given a marvelous gift. My son John was born, and it has been a privilege to see him grow from that tiny tot to the marvelous man who has been a wonderful role model for me. He has grown into a marvelous husband, father,son ,brother,friend and all around terrific human being. He will be embarrassed by my words because by nature he is unassuming and humble. I wish him a wonderful year filled with the joy and meaning he has already brought to so many of us.

I had an uncle Rudy who was a very difficult person to like. Abrasive by nature, even my father one of the kindest men on the planet had little use for him. One day a group of us seated in the living room were going on and on about how awful Rudy was. My mother in the next room, listening to the barrage was bothered by what she was hearing, Kind by nature but also impeccably honest, she searched for some way to intervene, Finally she came into our presence and said “my brother Rudy is a good whistler. “As I begin the New Year I will try to remind myself hat everyone has some redeeming quality. Maybe he or she is a “good whistler”.

The New Year offers opportunities to reflect on how we choose to live. All of us carry some baggage from our recent and sometimes long past that can be examined in a new light. If there is an unresolved anger towards someone is it time to try again to resolve the issue? If you carry the burden of guilt is there a way to lessen it and move forward? Is there some goal or achievement that you have continuously postponed that can be addressed in 2013? We only go around once and the years fly by, and before we know it time has run out. We only go around once and today truly is the beginning of the rest of your life.