Sal's Reflections

Yesterday at a Connecticut hearing on gun violence a father whose son was murdered at Newtown was heckled. The testimony of the father was compelling, and at one point he asked the question “Why does anyone need to own an assault weapon, or a magazine clip that holds thirty rounds?” Some spectators responded with “you can’t take our guns away or recited passages from the second amendment.” How anyone who heard the pain and anguish in this parent’s voice could be so heartless is beyond me.I fully respect all of the opinions on the complex issues surrounding guns but to treat this man in such a fashion is unconscionable. I hope that anyone who responded to his question in this manner will have the decency to write and apologize for their totally insensitive behavior.

In my life there have been mentors and teachers who have radically altered who I am. It was a teacher who opened my mind and heart to great literature. Insights, and wonderful human experiences flowed through her, and my love for the written word was born through her dedication and devotion. I can still feel the vitality of her wisdom born from her love of students and authors. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and her patience beyond boundaries. She has long passed from this world, but her legacy remains with all who were privileged to have her in class. My thanks go out to the wonderful memory of Sister Catherine Laboure.

One of the sources of pain and rejection in life is cyclic negative thinking. Many sets of circumstances viewed through a negative prism continue to create less than positive results. Thinking consistently “that things never work out for me” or” I am sure this will turn out badly” tend to reinforce past and future outcomes. I am not suggesting that we become Pollyanna’s and be oblivious to difficult circumstances, but how we consistently think will largely influence how we act. We can substitute new positive beliefs. and alter negative speech to enhance a more positive and fulfilling life.

Ever notice that when someone performs a kind act to you it changes your entire day. It can be a slight gesture, or something significant, but it disposes you to pass on an act of kindness to someone else. There are in every day unlimited opportunities to perform acts of kindness and we never know how critical they are to the receiver. I have through the years been overwhelmed by someone’s recollection of a simple act of kindness that I performed. Take time today to touch another life by one act of kindness and know that it will foster others that you may not see, but they will occur.

It is usually about this time when all the New Years resolutions become difficult. Made with exuberance and sincerity the weight of fulfilling those lofty goals often becomes difficult, and there is the tendency to give up. Do you really want to throw in the towel, or is this the time to renew the goals? They may be more fulfilling in the light of day to once again set them as milestones for the year.

New bills are being introduced in the Congress largely because of the Newtown massacre. Both sides are mobilizing their pressure groups in order to influence the final outcome. It is critical that we not see any attempts to minimize violence as an opportunity to merely win a position. No side has a foolproof path to preventing future massacres so it is critical that we keep what the real goal is in this search. Remember those innocent children and those heroic adults, and all of the victims of gun violence. Urge your representatives not merely to blindly defend your position but rather to jointly search for common rational steps that will be part of the solution.

There are people who when you are with them make you feel as if “you are the most special person in the world.” My sister Tina and Mary Contini have this most wonderful trait. I have learned, from them and others, how important it is to focus on the value and uniqueness of everyone I know and encounter. Once you understand the incredible value of having someone make you feel this way, it enhances the possibility that you will do it for others.

What would happen if a group of moderate Republicans would offer to join President Obama in a meaningful public exchange around the key challenges we face? If people like Colin Powell. Governor Christie, Joe Scarborough and a few others would extend this invitation I believe it would be the beginning of meaningful common ground. I would include Mitt Romney in this consideration ,because even though I did not vote for him, I believe that he cares and loves this country. Someone has to break through the ice, and I believe that the bulk of ordinary citizens are already there.

As I watched President Obama being sworn in yesterday I was reminded of how peaceful the transition to govern is in America. I sometimes get lost in the frustration of our fractured government, but when I see a million citizens standing in front of the Capitol listening to the ceremony it warms my heart. The challenges that face America are huge but the rock solid process of passing on the torch peacefully is a testament that our Union is still as strong as ever.

There are very few do overs in life, but there are endless new chances. Going backwards doesn’t ordinarily work, and it is rare that we can change the past, but there are always way to make life more meaningful. If you feel badly about any part of your life find a purpose and do something for others. I have seen individuals with a history of pain, failure and broken dreams get off the deck and change not only themselves, but the destinies of others.