Sal's Reflections

One of the thoughts often absent in the quest for equality is that civil rights are a way for all of us to grow. For hundreds of years the majority deprived itself of the culture and insights that were resident in the black culture. When the majority looked down on the black experience it cut itself off from so many human insights that had been learned ,and taught by those that had been marginalized. Their struggles were replete with human courage ,and a dignity that has freed the larger culture. In celebrating Black History month there is an opportunity for us to reach out ,and grow from realizing that every culture in this land can enable all of us to get closer to the “shining city on a hill”

It is common to hear people talk about retirement as a period of time when there is an absence of responsibilities. Long periods of inactivity, drinking coffee and reading the morning paper from cover to cover. No pressures, no schedules just doing whatever comes naturally. This view I believe for many is antiquated. Retirement is in many respects the ultimate promotion to a phase where there is a plethora of new opportunities. For example, I have had more roles in life than Robert DeNiro.Today people age differently than their parents, and people need not retire from meaningful opportunities to continue to contribute to society. Instead of the ideal period of sitting around realize that there is no retirement from life, only new chapters to be lived.

A friend who is very ill reminded me that there are few guarantees in life. She said”there is for all of us a “life altering” situation lurking in every life.” “Carpe Diem” was a phrase that she heard in Latin class, but it never had the depth of meaning that it has now. The days have grown short for her, and every waking moment has vibrancy and value Today is a one time opportunity that will come and go ;so I choose to seize it and make the most of it.

It is customary to give up something during the season of Lent.Some give up sweets,or going to the movies, or a host of other enjoyable activities. Obviously these are well intentioned, but I would prefer giving then giving up.Preparation and growth may be more readily found in giving quailty time to others. We may find emotional and spiritual progress in giving our attention to those in our lives who need our concern. Giving makes us more human,more kind,more closely connected to the real message of the season. It is in giving that we fully recieve the growth that makes our lives more meaningful.

We often refer to either good luck or bad luck in our lives ,but I believe that positive outcomes are achieved by never giving up. There is no venture or goal that is not fraught with challenges .and the ability to constantly renew the effort is what makes the difference. Every milestone in my life has been reached when I resisted the urge to quit. and continued to plug ahead. The good luck often occurred when my perspiration met the opportunity.

Dr .Paul Stolz believes that there are three categories of persons as they relate to challenges. He states the first group gives up easily and quits. The second group ,the campers ,tries for awhile but after a period of time settle and terminate their goal. The third group, despite the challenges, never gives up and continuously works toward their goals. I like the categories but I have seen people change along the way. The past does not define the future. A person may move from quitting to camping and eventually to the climber status. The human spirit continues to amaze, and if you have ever given up it does not mean that you will not meet the challenges of today and tomorrow.

The congress is in the middle of an endless process trying to pass some bill that would deal with violence toward women. It is a sad commentary that literally millions of women live daily in situations where they are verbally and physically abused. This is not simply an issue for women, but for everyone of us. Men must step forward and openly support the rights of all women to be treated with respect and dignity. Those of us who have had the privilege of being raised by women who nurtured and loved us understand that a real man never inflicts harm on any woman.

It is amazing how we store memories in our minds, and they pop up when we least expect them. Many years ago when I was a senior in high school, I was in the midst of a hot batting streak on the baseball team. In a game against out biggest rival I struck out with the bases loaded to end the game. It was the only time I struck out in four years. Crestfallen, I was walking home when I passed my elderly neighbor Mr. Delaney. He saw how down in the dumps I was, and listened to my tale of woe and then said” I have been following the team in the paper and I know it’s tough today, but you have had a great year. Also you play them again next week and I bet things will be different then” Those kind words changed my “woe is me day” and when we played them again I had four hits. It happened many moons ago but Mr. Delaney is still remembered by me.

There are opportunities or choices in life that cause regrets as time goes by. Some cannot be revised, and they are part of the scar tissue that every person carries .However, there are always some that can go from regrets to new choices. You are never too old or too set in your ways to start after a goal, mend an emotional fence or pursue a dream. It is worthwhile to occasionally pause and ask “will I regret not moving forward on this?”