Sal's Reflections

Nelson Mandela suffered under a racist system that had unjustly punished him for years. When he finally was released and became the leader of South Africa he did not seek vengeance but rather brought the nation together. He did not resort to inciting his people to mindless opposition against those that had been in power. Gracious reaching out to those that had unfairly imprisoned him was the key to creating better race relations in his country.
Yesterday in a ceremony named after John McCain the president did not mention his name because of his petty vindictive attitude to anyone that opposes him. He could not for one moment bury his hostility to a dying man; who is in my humble opinion a true hero.To top off this deliberate slight he made fun of McCain at an event which encouraged booing of the Arizona senator.
Genuine leaders try to mend fences and appeal to the higher angels in our midst but Trump consistently publicly embarrasses himself by his inability to be compassionate and forgiving.

I love the expression”Be yourself because every other person’s life is already taken”.Most ,if not all of us, at some point in time want to be someone else.In our eyes they have more than we in the areas of wealth,position,prestige,and talents. These are normal feelings but if they prevent us from leading the one thing that is precious then they are worthless.Each of us has a story and a life that is so unique and valuable that to live in the shadows always pining to be someone else is sad.So much that drives the desire to be another has really very little to do with us. It comes from society and well intentioned persons along that way that missed the value of the beauty of each life.

Every time I do a presentation on Leadership at least one person in the group thinks they are limited because they are shy and somewhat lay back.My immediate reaction mentally is that the world has been changed for the better by so many persons that were shy and laid back. Mr.Rogers changed the world for countless children and Ruth Bader Ginsberg opened closed doors for millions of women.Talent does not come only for the verbal ,and there are countless ways to lead for everyone regardless of personality style.If you are limited by shyness chuck the label and contribute in the areas of leadership that can only be filled by you

One great way to lead into the weekend is to perform at least one act of kindness today.We all want our presence to make a difference and no one is without the opportunity to be kind.I am sure that within every circle there is someone that needs a kind word, a phone call,a hug or some form of assistance. Personally I am aware of friends who are dealing with illness,the loss of a loved one or pet and a host of other challenging situations. With very little effort you may lighten the load and make them know that someone cares. The weekend will be so much more rewarding knowing that your kindness really made a difference.

I learned a long time ago that speech is a predictor of behavior. It is not pie in the sky to believe that the way we speak to ourselves largely influences our choices and behavior.We have the ability to alter our speech and when negativity dominates our thoughts to consciously change the words to positive ones. I recently read the following examples of positively altering the thoughts.:

Negative self-talk Positive thinking
I’ve never done it before. It’s an opportunity to learn
something new.
It’s too complicated. I’ll tackle it from a different angle.
I don’t have the resources. Necessity is the mother of invention.
I’m too lazy to get this done. I wasn’t able to fit it into my schedule, but I can re-examine some priorities.
There’s no way it will work. I can try to make it work

Today when the gloom and doom speech visits change the words consciously and there will be new choices that lead to more positive outcomes.

I was contacted by one of the persons from my recent book club meetings. He has had no contact with his father for over three years . The father,a devout catholic, has been unable to accept the reality that his son is gay.After reading the book the man shared that he had a better understanding of his father based on the relationship between Michael and his son. He decided to call his father and was thrilled that his father was most receptive to meeting him. He sent me a note saying that he and his father were to have lunch yesterday. Those kind of happenings blow me away.

P.S. Brian had a successful second surgery yesterday

The response in California and Texas book clubs has been incredibly favorable. I love the face to face interactions and am considering using Zoom technology so that I may reach book clubs across the country. If anyone is interested in having me speak to your book club please contact me here or at  setaglia@aol.com

Attended the funeral of a friend’s mother at Cape Cod and the service was lovely. It was one of those exceptional services that perfectly blended religious ritual with human love and witness. The three eulogies were seamless on the part of a granddaughter and two daughters. There is always a sense of loss at any funeral but here there was also laughter and a loving testament to a life well lived.Madeline touched many lives and her presence helped form the marvelous family that she created. She will be sorely missed, but her spirit and love will continue to be the backbone of all who were privileged to know her.

I usually write at a coffee shop in Jamaica Plain in the morning.Thre is an older man( how can I call anyone older)who is there every morning. I always cheerfully say hello to him but he never responds. Yesterday a little boy sat near him and kept saying hello. After about five minutes he responded and said hello back. His smile was so different than the dour face that he has evidenced for months.I after watching the interaction with the little boy moved to sit as his long table and for the first time he spoke to me. He has encountered many difficulties over the past year. His wife died and he suffered significant medical issues. We chatted for almost an hour, and I am sure that the ice has been broken thanks to that wonderful little boy.

A novel recounts six decades in the lives of two lifelong friends.

Author, motivational speaker, and former Catholic priest Tagliareni (The Cross or the Swastika, 2014, etc.) blends his own memories with fiction in this sparkling, inspirational novel about Michael McNally and Sal La Greca, who first meet in a New Jersey grade school in 1954. When plucky Sal rescues scrawny Michael from menacing seventh-grade bullies, the two boys forge a bond. The two are different in several ways; black-haired, olive-skinned Michael adheres to his Catholic faith, while blond, blue-eyed, light-skinned Sal is staunchly secular. Still, their friendship deepens and endures throughout their adolescence, and their connection is strengthened by their “abiding respect and trust” for each other, particularly when Sal acts as a pallbearer at Michael’s mother’s funeral. With pleasant assuredness and narrative dexterity, Tagliareni effortlessly builds out his central characters’ profiles through their college years as Michael sacrifices a Notre Dame scholarship to raise his two brothers and Sal embraces the expansive, urban diversity of life at New York University. As the years pass, however, the men’s lives go in very different directions. Michael gets married, loses a brother in a tragic accident, and embarks on a medical career. Sal, after much introspection, surprisingly forges ahead with an intention to enter the priesthood; the author convincingly handles this latter plot development with authenticity, as it’s drawn from Tagliareni’s own experiences as a member of the clergy. As adults, both men are successful, productive members of society and are resilient against the slings and arrows of an unjust, unpredictable world.

The author proves to be masterful at filling the two main narratives with life-changing events, both good and bad, which will keep the reader in a constant state of anticipation for Michael and Sal’s inevitable reunion. Indeed, another tragedy brings them together again, and both men are grateful to have the opportunity to catch up. At the same time, the author shows how each character recognizes how far their destinies have diverged. Michael assists wounded Marines in Vietnam before returning home to his family in New York and finding out the truth about his son’s sexual orientation; Sal moves up the ranks of the Catholic hierarchy, but the wisdom of an Austrian doctor drastically alters the course of his life. Throughout the story, Tagliareni draws extensively on his own life experiences, as well as those of his friends, which gives the novel an air of verisimilitude. It’s consistently satisfying, even enchanting at times, even though, for the two main players, the sheer amount of tragedy tends to outweigh the joy. Michael and Sal are immensely memorable characters, and their personalities will make readers care about them instantly. As a result, these kindhearted men are easily able to carry the novel through to its bittersweet conclusion. At its core, this is a life-affirming story that models the most soulful aspects of love and companionship.  

An uplifting and often engrossing testament to the power of enduring friendship through the decades