Early on every person makes a key decision about who they are, and this effects the choices they make. That first decision is largely shaped by others because at that moment adults have such overwhelming effect on who we are. However, that decision should not be made in stone because circumstances and people change. If the initial decision is positive and allows room to grow and develop at every level then it is healthy and should be reinforced. However, if it is primarily negative and limiting it should be dusted off, reviewed and changed. No one should be totally defined by their past and the views of others.